tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11339180976071921782024-02-19T03:44:40.427-06:00Is the glass really half full?Just me talking out loud and sharing my thoughts, fears, and adventures to keep those near and far updated!schmitball13http://www.blogger.com/profile/02944325458699567335noreply@blogger.comBlogger229125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1133918097607192178.post-8378601629965964202020-01-23T15:00:00.000-06:002020-01-23T15:00:05.554-06:00New Adventure awaits...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_rGA86NOzK6pfaAoXi_RY-Ta0erALpgxVZQWu6FHiiBuZ7BO85nfjakE0skINkS5V_toKltw64L6zV3qGVQbHotoYAJoBzbmpe7q3pg8Fo3qQQN3Ms0J1vWL9Q3TXa7INHm8tOl3sD6hf/s1600/skeptical_baby.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="707" data-original-width="600" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_rGA86NOzK6pfaAoXi_RY-Ta0erALpgxVZQWu6FHiiBuZ7BO85nfjakE0skINkS5V_toKltw64L6zV3qGVQbHotoYAJoBzbmpe7q3pg8Fo3qQQN3Ms0J1vWL9Q3TXa7INHm8tOl3sD6hf/s200/skeptical_baby.jpg" width="169" /></a>Well, if you received my Christmas Letter....you know something is in the works for that 2020 Christmas Card.<br />
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I'm sure you don't want to wait until December 2020 do you?<br />
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Well...stay tuned. New Chapter officially kicks off tomorrow. Details to follow....schmitball13http://www.blogger.com/profile/02944325458699567335noreply@blogger.com0Cedar Creek, TX30.0873153 -97.50143200000002330.0323648 -97.582113000000021 30.1422658 -97.420751000000024tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1133918097607192178.post-16310211016361111822017-11-20T16:06:00.002-06:002017-11-21T11:48:57.688-06:00In a blink of any eye...Life can change.<br />
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So never truer words have ever been spoken.<br />
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If you would have asked me 3 months ago, I would have told you I was going to be blogging about how I was finally done with my classes, classes to become certified to be a foster parent. That was my plan going into the summer. That is what I had been preparing for most of 2017. A new day bed for the bedroom. A pack and play just in case they are younger. Fire extinguishers. Getting the big renovations done with the house. Start classes for certification. All the balls were in play. I was going to do this. I was going to fulfill my life dream of having a child my own way.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5SHmOGJsGBz2Mddb23WCkxYlRRQEolR4k0l5XOO4CWKNvFqHUWKtlnSh8INS7zQhsAwZTjOK6STcyeZ_oYE3hnk22aPyR4j01J8GV0l5Uiv1zoqWUTSGoV40xyJn6XO1IBZjGWnYXh0sG/s1600/after.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="643" data-original-width="640" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5SHmOGJsGBz2Mddb23WCkxYlRRQEolR4k0l5XOO4CWKNvFqHUWKtlnSh8INS7zQhsAwZTjOK6STcyeZ_oYE3hnk22aPyR4j01J8GV0l5Uiv1zoqWUTSGoV40xyJn6XO1IBZjGWnYXh0sG/s320/after.jpg" width="318" /></a><br />
It was finally happening.<br />
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In an instant, it all changed. My life changed. This blog post is not about fostering or adopting or fire extinguishers or a daybed or pack and play, those items are still there but something that is on hold. How long is still unknown.<br />
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Life changed. Now it is about how much dog food does one need for 6 months? Who can take care of my lawn? How will I clean my house? If I am able to work remote and split time between work and the office, how do I transport my laptop? How will I get to work? How do I afford all of the things I am used to doing on my own now that I have to pay for it?<br />
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Yes, the planner in me goes there. The independent me goes there. The 'I don't want to ask for help' me goes there. This is where I go when I am faced with the words I don't want to hear. The worst case scenario that I was told I should not brace myself for because I should not expect the worst.<br />
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But deep down, I knew I was going to hear it. I mean, I can still count on one hand the number of days I have been pain free since September 5th. The dogs are blessed to get a 1/2 mile walk in around the circle. No more long walks, no more bike rides. Mowing the yard requires breaks for my body to rest and then it still hates me. I hate the pain pills and the muscles relaxers and would rather be in pain. I mean first there is the addiction that is a middle name to our family. Then there is the fact that IF I can take them by 8:30 pm, I still am on the struggle bus at 6:00 am getting out of bed.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7bR0Do_01jtKG5zfC-4LThzYpDQnytK-jULyXsmSqF4-HmflJXkumDyFpVcf9HZvTYgwyEGA2r87HWvxVsW3Iha8dQbEkPpz_wpMbL6aBNTSUmBhj83t18-VS1zIhZFIQo6mv6pQ4kFOY/s1600/IMG_1546.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7bR0Do_01jtKG5zfC-4LThzYpDQnytK-jULyXsmSqF4-HmflJXkumDyFpVcf9HZvTYgwyEGA2r87HWvxVsW3Iha8dQbEkPpz_wpMbL6aBNTSUmBhj83t18-VS1zIhZFIQo6mv6pQ4kFOY/s200/IMG_1546.jpg" width="200" /></a>In an instant, life changed. I was almost to work on September 5th, going in a little late that day. First day back from vacation will do that to you. It was a clear reminder that morning why I go in at 7 am, traffic at 8 am stinks. I almost made it to work. 1 mile left in my commute. I was sitting at a red light minding my own business because traffic was backed up.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEis7Mb6-UrOUIaA0NB9eGFQzf4cz0EiQywkpGhOb4-MotDTuFn3cTeNwehld8tyl4ldh_HnA9IFJxP-nLGOKDYZzjZiItZy-vgl-FsERdTHxGKY9l9kV9cwzZGyE1aZA6kxJtt0XdD6cwRn/s1600/IMG_1568.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="112" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEis7Mb6-UrOUIaA0NB9eGFQzf4cz0EiQywkpGhOb4-MotDTuFn3cTeNwehld8tyl4ldh_HnA9IFJxP-nLGOKDYZzjZiItZy-vgl-FsERdTHxGKY9l9kV9cwzZGyE1aZA6kxJtt0XdD6cwRn/s200/IMG_1568.jpg" width="200" /></a>No idea what <b>HE</b> was doing or what <b>HE</b> was looking at but I am thankful that I didn't see that <b>HE</b> was coming. <b>HE</b> just was everything Texas and everything about Trucks. I went from minding my own business to realizing I just was hit from behind.<br />
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1-level anterior cervical fusion and discectomy at C5-6. ACFD. They say it like it is easy and just no big deal. Just two months in a cone of shame as I call it, they call it a neck brace. Just 6 months of significant life suck or life style changes as they call it. So far I am 2 for 2 on doctors and the same opinion, I need surgery.<br />
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In a blink, things never will be the same...<br />
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schmitball13http://www.blogger.com/profile/02944325458699567335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1133918097607192178.post-11122589420539129262017-06-01T18:44:00.000-05:002017-06-02T11:09:07.889-05:00Let it GoTo blog or not to blog, that is the question. Some days life seems like a roller coaster of emotions. Is it just me? Is it me being selfish and needy? Or is it really something? Do I really have a right to feel that way?<br />
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I think ever since I found out my hormones were out of whack I question everything I feel. Is that weird? Probably. Then I don't want to say anything to <b>Momma Bear </b>because I don't want her to say, "Is it time for you to go back in? Did you stop taking one of the meds?" It's like this never ending cycle.<br />
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I even question blogging today. It's been such a heartbreaking day for me. But I know that by blogging, it leaves <b>Momma Bear</b> in a tough spot. She loves all of us. But I need an outlet on it and that is part of what this blog was for, an outlet. Whether I officially post this or not, has yet to be seen but I need something. My head is ready to explode. Nothing has taken the edge off. When I think about it, it makes cry. I haven't eaten much today, which we know is not good being diabetic. Plus the fact that it is probably contributing to the screaming headache. <br />
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A wise woman I once spent a lot of time on a couch with constantly said, "Let it Go". I know that is what needs to happen here. I need to let it go and just move on. But my heart hurts thinking about it. My head hurts. It hurts and sucks. It shouldn't be this difficult.<br />
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One of my greatest pleasures has been being a super Auntie to my niece and nephew. I do not get to see them often but when I do, I try to spoil them. But the road blocks just seem to be so great in seeing them anymore. Yes, I made the choice 10 years ago to move to Texas, so I don't need it thrown in my face anymore. You've made one trip here in 10 years, only because there was a football game. I 100% get I am not on your priority list. But the hurt is too great to fight to see the kids any more. Every time I do it is a road block of reasons why it does not work with your "families" schedule.<br />
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Every time I think I can see them or even try, it ends in so many hateful texts that some how end up with me being the bad person in the deal. I just really can't do it anymore. Hopefully one day the kids will know that I did try to spend time with them but it just was met with too much resistance, that it hurt too much, so I had to quit trying. I feel like a terrible person because the kids are little and do not know better, it's not fair to them, but I just can't do it anymore. The idea of saying I can't or quitting drives me crazy but I do not want days like today in my life anymore. <br />
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Last summer my nephew spent a week here in Texas with me and we had so much fun. It truly was a blast. Definitely a week we both will never forget. He even took a book I gave him of the trip to school multiple times for show and tell. He wanted to come back again this summer. It was going to be our annual thing. Well today I learned it was not going to happen. See, July is "like cabin month" per his parents and since the only week I can do in August is the week before school, he cannot come to Texas this year. <br />
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I was told that if I want to see them I should just drive back. But, let's not fool ourselves, when I do come back, I only see them if it fits with their parent's schedule. (And we shouldn't forget 'July is like cabin month.') As someone that lives 800+ miles away, they have zero appreciation why I enjoy having that one on one time with the kids away from the family that they can see every other day of the week. Kids are kids. If they are in groups like that, of course they are going to go to the people they know and see more often. I know that and accept that, it happens when you live far away. But it seems that is a lot of the time I am allotted with them. Some how when I think I am going to get one on one time, it is changed. If I do not go with the change, I am the bad person. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4EPIfHHpLkEu2IvSrAQB8s-HKzobHHUQDkxsp8jZ7c5m5H10eAZEMz-GEUoraVWqlsqNOG6Qj6yPzZ8Z7BjepdXMymA4N6207WcPkiBFL8CuNRl43QotarSfpEJ2Vk9XWFXAVsFy8maQY/s1600/1pfHhsD.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="333" data-original-width="500" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4EPIfHHpLkEu2IvSrAQB8s-HKzobHHUQDkxsp8jZ7c5m5H10eAZEMz-GEUoraVWqlsqNOG6Qj6yPzZ8Z7BjepdXMymA4N6207WcPkiBFL8CuNRl43QotarSfpEJ2Vk9XWFXAVsFy8maQY/s320/1pfHhsD.jpg" width="320" /></a>So many tears have been shed in such a short life span of theirs over this subject. It hurts. It crushes my heart and soul. All I wanted to do is be an awesome Aunt that spoils her niece and nephew since I would never have any kids of my own. I never asked for anything in return, just time with the kids. It's hard too because I do not have an outlet for it either. I do not want my parents in the middle. They love all of us kids and they love those two kiddos like crazy. They don't want to be in the middle.<br />
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I know I need to let it go. I know I need to move on. Today I was told to just "do (them) a favor and never ask again. It will make it easier on you..." As much as it sucks, it is probably 100% the truth. The sun will come up tomorrow and those two little ones will probably know no difference. Hopefully one day they will know that I did want to see them and spend time with them. I did try.<br />
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Of course, now that I am at the end, I do kind of giggle because I realize I have now brought true the part of the text calling me a cry baby...because I am crying...because it sucks and hurts. I have brought true the part of playing the victim because that is what this post is about, me being a victim to him being certified asshole. But I needed to get this off my chest. It isn't my fault, it isn't my parents fault. There is only one to blame and I tonight I will pray for strength to deal with the trials they bring over it. In the mean time, I need to work on letting it go. I pray that when I am back in August for a week, they will find some time to bring the kids by so I can see them. I definitely will not be asking for time or expecting that I will be seeing them, that is for sure. If just know if I don't expect it, I can't be disappointed.schmitball13http://www.blogger.com/profile/02944325458699567335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1133918097607192178.post-1988775250372552622017-02-23T17:12:00.000-06:002017-02-23T17:12:56.578-06:00The Talk....It was circa October 2016....my parents were here visiting for a wedding...and <b>Momma Bear</b> said the words, "We need to talk...."<br />
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THAT can never be a good thing can it? EVER? With ANYONE? Let alone your MOTHER?!?<br />
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Well, it turns out it was not as bad as I thought it would be in that split second of panic in my mind. Of course in that split second, I never imagined the positive turn it would have in my life. Of course, hindsight being what it is...WHY didn't you suggest this talk sooner?!? Seriously!<br />
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What was the talk you ask? Well, <b>Momma Bear</b> felt that I had become more emotional lately during our daily chats. That I was crying too easily. Then she dropped the news that she went through Menopause during her early 40s and thought I might be to. <br />
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Whaaa...Wait....WHAT? What happened to that conversation we had when I turned 35 and was upset because I never had kids and you and my <b>Texas Momma</b> said "40 is the new 30"? Was <b>THIS</b> forgotten in that conversation? I'm not really certain when I would have expected to go through menopause other than I know it happens, eventually. But I'm 42...REALLY so soon? Am I really going to have to come to terms with the reality of NEVER having a child, already?<br />
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From that talk...the journey began. <b>Momma Bear</b> will tell you it is the best money I have ever spent in life.<br />
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I've always know that my hormone's have been a little out of wack. I would have mid-cycle spotting. Sometimes they said it was hormones and tried to address with birth control. Most recently they said it was from a Fibroid that I have. So, for that reason, I just didn't want to go see my regular well woman doctor. I mean, nothing personal but I just wanted some answers. So during my guilty pleasure watching of the Young & the Restless, I saw an advertisement for the Hormone Wellness Center. Now they seemed like someone that could help me...so an appointment I made.<br />
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The first appointment is what they call the "free consult" where they take a lot of blood, talk to you about their program and what happens and then give you a free B-12 shot. Holy hell...if you have never had a B-12 shot...that burns like no other. Thankfully as I write this, I believe that my butt is now dead because I do not feel them anymore. Thank you God!<br />
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Of course with the "free" consult comes the sticker shock. Since they do not accept Medicaid, they do not accept insurance. The program cost some $3K+ to go through. You have to $500 upfront and then they offer different payment plan options. The cost covers all your appointments, blood draws and everything but one of the hormones, which you get at a pharmacy. I can't explain why, but something just told me I had to do this. So, during my "free" consult, they took my $500 deposit.<br />
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As they say, the rest is history. As the <b>UNICORN</b> said, I am a plant. The good news, I am NOT menopausal or pre-menopausal. So AMEN to that. However, the test results showed I am a plant. My Estrogen was fine. Yay! But that's where the celebrating stopped. For a woman, progesterone should range between 5 - 10. My blood result showed 0.2. Yup...that is right, ZERO Point TWO. I basically had no progesterone in my system. For testosterone, woman do have that in their system, just not at the levels of men. Woman normally are in the range of 15 - 95. Where did I fall on that scale, yeah...I DIDN'T!! Basically I was worse off on testosterone than progesterone. <br />
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So, great now you know. But how do you fix it you are asking, right? Well the testosterone they do what they call an "in office" procedure. They inject something into my butt to numb a small area. The stuff burns but that is about all I feel after that. After the medicine works, they make a small incision and insert these testosterone capsules under the skin and they are slowly absorbed into the body. The incision is steri-stripped closed and those stay on for 7-10 days. I cannot do any work outs for 7 days after an insert is done. The progesterone is a LOT easier. That is a dissolvable tablet that I take two weeks a month before bed. It goes under my tongue and will dissolve rather quickly. I also go into the doctor's office every two weeks for that lovely B-12 shot and then have a B-12 chewable that I have to take twice a week.<br />
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That's it. A month after the insert, they did another blood test to check levels and did another insert of testosterone and adjusted my progesterone. The do that once when you start to make sure everything is balanced as it should be.<br />
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Can I tell a difference in my moods? I don't know if I can really answer that. My mom will tell you she definitely can tell a difference. I know that I don't wake up in the morning with my normal grumbling tone and for that I believe my coworkers are thankful. Of course, we should not sugar coat it...I'm still not a morning person.<br />
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What changes have I noticed? Who knew I could sleep through the night? I was always up, I always had to go to the bathroom. I was always waking up in a pool of sweat like it was 100 degrees in my bedroom. That mid-cycle spotting is pretty much gone. I don't crave the carbs anymore. The doctor has said that I may also be able to come of the anxiety/depression medication as the hormones actually impact that. I also do not go through PMS like I used to either. There are a couple other changes too, but <b>Momma Bear</b> does read this and there is nothing I can do about it...so we just won't discuss those. <br />
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The bad news is there is no "cure". I go for a blood draw again next week and they will do a new insert the following month. Then in 2 months, it will be another blood draw and the cycle repeats until the year is up. Then it will be up to me to decide if I want to shell out another $3K for this or be done. I know what <b>Momma Bear</b> would say. So, until the time comes for that decision to be made, I am just going to enjoy feeling better. schmitball13http://www.blogger.com/profile/02944325458699567335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1133918097607192178.post-1742572953993223182016-02-16T11:18:00.000-06:002016-02-16T11:18:21.430-06:00The struggle is realWell if you read my post last week, you saw that as part of Lent, I was making the following Amendable Commitments:<br />
<ol>
<li>One Diet Coke a day</li>
<li>No Pasta - sadly this is my go to dinner as of late, pasta noodles, parmesan cheese a little butter...definitely cheep and easy but no nutritional value and in no way diabetic friendly.</li>
<li>No Sunflower seeds - my weekend addiction</li>
<li>Morning prayers before my feet hit the ground </li>
<li>Rosary once daily - currently I just do it the days I travel to work.</li>
<li>Evening prayers before bed.</li>
<li>Attend Stations of the Cross at least twice during Lent</li>
<li>Limit Cell Phone games to 1 hour.</li>
</ol>
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The struggle is real folks. Really real. I mean that darn devil shows up in so many shapes and forms, it is hard to believe.<br />
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Take for example yesterday....when <strong>Unicorn</strong> thought she was doing me a "favor" by buying this six pack combo pack of pasta from Costco. Umm, see number 2. She didn't know what my resolutions were to know better. So, now I have to get to Easter leaving that alone, when I finally was in a pasta free house.<br />
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I think that the one I have struggled with most is the evening prayers. Usually by the time I crawl into bed, I am exhausted and just want to close my eyes. So, I might need to mix that up and do the prayers in the evening when I get home before my workout. A way to decompress the mind from the day of work. <br />
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How are you doing with your commitments?schmitball13http://www.blogger.com/profile/02944325458699567335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1133918097607192178.post-22074830905887167262016-02-10T09:25:00.000-06:002016-02-10T09:26:52.903-06:00Sleepwalking<em>"Your biggest challenge isn't that you've intentionally been making bad choices.....Your biggest challenge is that you've been <strong>sleepwalking</strong> through your choices." ~ The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy</em><br />
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I had ordered a book through Amazon awhile ago. Yes I am old school and still like the feel of the book in my hand. In any event, when I ordered that book, it said this was a commonly paired book and I figured what the heck. I am so grateful I did. I highly recommend it to everyone. Reading it now also pairs nicely with Lent.<br />
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The premise of the book is that little actions, whether good or bad, repeated daily lead to big results. If you eat a little bad EVERY day, then you will gain weight. Whereas, if you eat a little better each day, you will lose weight. The Compound Effect. <br />
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I think what really hit home and really got me into this book were a couple of key paragraphs within the first two chapters because I easily could relate them to my life.<br />
<ul>
<li><em>"I bet your grandparents worked six days a week, from sunup to sundown, using the skills they learned in their youth and repeatedly throughout their entire life. They knew the secret was hard work, discipline, and good habits</em>." </li>
</ul>
Anyone that knows either sets of my grandparents, knows this hits their life to a T. When my grandma moved to town from the farm, I remember going through the chest she had in the attic of all the bank statements of 40 years of marriage. From the early years of owing the bank money at the end of the month to the later parts of their life where they would buy a new car with cash. They worked hard for every penny they had.<br />
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<ul>
<li><em>"Don't try to fool yourself into believing that a mega-successful athlete didn't live through regular bone-crushing drills and thousands of hours of practice. He got up early to practice - and kept practicing long after all the others had stopped. He faced the sheer agony and frustration of the failure, loneliness, hard work, and disappointment it took to become No. 1."</em></li>
</ul>
Well, if you were in the car with my parents and I when I was 30-something, you would have heard this almost exact same conversation. My dad was revealing that he was so hard on me over the years playing softball because "guys just didn't get to the NFL because their parents patted them on the back and said good job because they gave 90%". Even if he had made that statement to me in high school or college, I doubt it would have had the same light ball effect.<br />
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I have decided that this Lent is going to be the start of my personal Compound Effect. Spiritually, Mentally and Physically. I have joined <strong>Unicorn's</strong> Church group for their Lenten Busy Lives Lenten Retreat. I am excited to have the extra accountability this season. Hopefully you will join me this Lenten season making small changes to create a Compound Effect that can carry on long after lent. Remember, it only takes 21 days to form a habit and lent...well it's longer than that!<br />
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Part of the Spiritual commitment I made were the following Amendable Commitments:<br />
<ol>
<li>One Diet Coke a day</li>
<li>No Pasta - sadly this is my go to dinner as of late, pasta noodles, parmesan cheese a little butter...definitely cheep and easy but no nutritional value and in no way diabetic friendly.</li>
<li>No Sunflower seeds - my weekend addiction</li>
<li>Morning prayers before my feet hit the ground </li>
<li>Rosary once daily - currently I just do it the days I travel to work.</li>
<li>Evening prayers before bed.</li>
<li>Attend Stations of the Cross at least twice during Lent</li>
<li>Limit Cell Phone games to 1 hour.</li>
</ol>
What small changes can you commit to making this Lenten Season that Compounds into a big Effect?schmitball13http://www.blogger.com/profile/02944325458699567335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1133918097607192178.post-77057783219928900242016-01-12T16:14:00.000-06:002016-01-12T16:14:03.285-06:00Ripping off the Band-AidAre you still waiting for my Merry Christmas/Happy New Year card...well you'll be waiting awhile....<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLGXzmBxS-jY1VG2fqcu0WLw0Ck_NspmSrIZnOptD31Ivh9FQnaq9U92dGE8RNpiO8ZvQwOGjcRiqjvGLsGIVzXv8VUDLZccgWoWUNBLYzx_gV-o5P8b3lgvdpXguUTA12hnEJ-tdjvtbc/s1600/1470077_10153865684216018_5310765915538645875_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLGXzmBxS-jY1VG2fqcu0WLw0Ck_NspmSrIZnOptD31Ivh9FQnaq9U92dGE8RNpiO8ZvQwOGjcRiqjvGLsGIVzXv8VUDLZccgWoWUNBLYzx_gV-o5P8b3lgvdpXguUTA12hnEJ-tdjvtbc/s320/1470077_10153865684216018_5310765915538645875_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
I don't think you want the tear jerker it might be.<br />
<br />
In summary:<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>I still don't have a full time, permanent job.</li>
<li>I still am working my temp job.</li>
<li>Men are still bastards and <strong>ATM </strong>should have never been trusted...of course he waited until after meeting my parents at Thanksgiving to show he was still a lying bastard. But he is consistent and lied to them too. Ha! </li>
<li>Money is still a pinching situation until I can find a real job. </li>
<li>Unicorn took a job in San Antonio.</li>
</ul>
<br />
And that is just the highlight of why we should never, ever, ever, ever, ever speak of that year again. It is a year that is best forgotten ever existed. It was definitely a learning and growing experience. On the positive side, I really learned who my true friends are and who I can really lean on. I got to go back to school and take classes by way of a grant. My knitting crafts are slowly turning into a business. I was still able to go back for the 20th reunion of the college softball team going to nationals. So there were positives, it's just the negatives were so heavy.<br />
<br />
So, a little birdy...<strong>ahh cuuzzin</strong>, points out I just don't blog enough so I thought I better start blogging again. This year I know I will be better as I will have many positives to share as well as things I am learning along the way.<br />
<br />
The homestead will be getting some much needed upgrades by the end of the month. I knew that I was going to need a new roof at some point. For obvious reasons, I needed to wait until money was not so tight. Well, December 29th, mother nature opted to help that cause. A hail and wind storm left part of my privacy fence knocked down. Well, when I went to lean part of the fence back up to keep the fur kids in check, I found some shingles. Yep...as 2015 luck would have it, they were from my house.<br />
<br />
One of the neighbors works for a storm company and came out and did a free assessment for me. In looking at it, she said yep, fence has wind damage and roof has hail and wind damage and the window façade also has hail damage. YEAH ME. <br />
<br />
Last week, she happily met myself and the insurance adjustor at the house. Well after a lot of white circles on the roof, the insurance adjustor agreed that there was enough damage to warrant a full replacement of the roof. They also agreed to cover 3 of the 9 fence panels. #winning The Storm guard company said that they would work with me so I don't have to pay anything out of pocket, or that would be their goal. #doublewin<br />
<br />
Well, then I decided I would call the landlord for the rental next door. Technically because I have the "nice" side of the privacy fence, I should be the one to maintain it. But, you always lose if you don't ask. So, I called and asked if they would like to split the cost of replacing the full fence. As shocked as I was, they indicated that they were beyond happy to share the cost!!! So, now I have gone from needing to pay for 6 fence pickets to having to pay for maybe 20% of the fence. #triplewin<br />
<br />
For someone that has been as financially strapped as I have....you have no idea the happy dances I am doing right now. Next step...full time job.....<br />
<br />
schmitball13http://www.blogger.com/profile/02944325458699567335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1133918097607192178.post-41094992510083976262015-11-05T21:53:00.001-06:002015-11-05T21:53:34.363-06:00Life is like a....Box of Chocolates...You never know what you are going to get?<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjo_MpR1iOs1c-Ujd5wZyUkO3AI9Yxw37IGTIeeI9HcfHOZT2j9JpY8udGr9_01wIcRO7L65Jm1zTZTLTB6suugmlMWhZ9tp8PCJLArGdZTH2VqEH7eoy4EkdrY4SN1GCBMvO5jPBnhYrW1/s1600/a014725c972e930dfafdc4159f72a519.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjo_MpR1iOs1c-Ujd5wZyUkO3AI9Yxw37IGTIeeI9HcfHOZT2j9JpY8udGr9_01wIcRO7L65Jm1zTZTLTB6suugmlMWhZ9tp8PCJLArGdZTH2VqEH7eoy4EkdrY4SN1GCBMvO5jPBnhYrW1/s320/a014725c972e930dfafdc4159f72a519.jpg" width="320" /></a>Book...each day is a new page?<br />
<br />
2015 has been a challenge of maybe epic proportions. I really am learning that life really is what you make of it. Some days are going to be bad, some are good, some are eh, but each day is a blessing. When you put your mind to it, you really can do anything you want to.<br />
<br />
I have gone from the unemployed life of having a great schedule to the land of insaneness. I have lived in the world of insaneness since August 3rd. Probably about the time you stopped hearing from me on here.<br />
<br />
On August 3rd, I started as a temp for The Boon Group (TBG) as a proposal writer. In other words, a fancy term for putting together all the insurance proposals together for the sales reps, working with the insurance carriers in the process. The following week, I started classes on Tuesday and Thursday evenings from 6-10 pm and every other Saturday from 9:30 to 4:30 pm. The classes I am taking is for PMP/SQL Certifications. By the time it is over the first of March, the goal is to have my certification in both. THE GOAL. If anything, PMP is the big one as that will be the game changer for me. Once that certification is in place, my base salary will be no lower than $85k. It's not about the money but the ability to recover from 9 months of not having a "real" job.<br />
<br />
Things at TBG are going well. At the first of September the asked me to be full time. Of course, HR stopped the bus party and said sorry, you have to work 800 hours first before we can hire you full time. #sucksballs I really do not think what I do everyday is something that I would want to do long term. BUT, it does help cover the bills and I really think it would be a good company to work for. Now it would be a matter if they had that job there for me.<br />
<br />
What I have learned since April 15th is that I have an amazing family, a wonderful group of close friends here in Austin and when it comes to it...you can stretch a dollar pretty far.<br />
<br />
I really do not think I could have gotten through the past 6 plus months without my immediate family, <strong>Unicorn</strong>, <strong>Grace</strong> and <strong>ATM</strong>. They have all been a wealth of support and really been there to pick me up on the bad days. Of course, let's not sugar coat it, <strong>Unicorn</strong> still gives me a kick in the pants when I need to get over it and move on. <br />
<br />
I think that <strong>ATM </strong>has really been the surprise of the group. It's really nice to have him back in my life. We both have gone through some serious stress points this fall but I know that he is there for me every day. Obviously I do not know what the future holds for us but I know that we will always be friends and he does bring a lot of positive to my life.<br />
<br />
I think probably the hardiest thing for me these days is just balancing the budget. If you know me, you know me how well I like to know where my money is going and making sure that I am going in the right direction. Well, obviously working at TBG, I was making more money that unemployment but way less than what I made at Xplode. I couldn't figure out why I wasn't getting ahead and why my savings continued to dwindle away. Once I found the error in my spreadsheet, it hit close to the heart and well there was that moment of panic.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3X8UQDPHg8hCQe35IdY8zQSb9SAuuA_xYkPA3s9W2ZvhKN-UK95WGGPQM6yDPAPqKtXWkKHulJ1Eol2jUTmBlH_K82qKfFw1a_iKVhMEgeq84v69uj2-M_2ngfH_3ivCkyb941lRBckXq/s1600/quote2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3X8UQDPHg8hCQe35IdY8zQSb9SAuuA_xYkPA3s9W2ZvhKN-UK95WGGPQM6yDPAPqKtXWkKHulJ1Eol2jUTmBlH_K82qKfFw1a_iKVhMEgeq84v69uj2-M_2ngfH_3ivCkyb941lRBckXq/s320/quote2.jpg" width="320" /></a>After it is all said and done with and the bills are paid for the month, I have exactly $140 left to feed myself and the pups. Now keep in mind, that is assuming there is no holidays, I don't get sick or any other situation where I have to take time off without pay. Of course, I also have the high maintenance dog that is allergic to everything and requires a $65 bag of food every other month but Finn's is only $35 and his last 2 1/2 months. Ouch. But, now that I know what the problem is and what I am up against...it truly isn't so bad. Now don't get me wrong, I really am looking forward to the day where my lunch is not 1/2 PBJ sandwich, 1 cup of carrots, an apple and 1 oz of chips....and yes, I do measure that all out every Sunday when I prep my meals for the week; but you have to do what you have to do. So, yes the dogs might be eating better than me. <br />
<br />
Ultimately, as they say....this too shall pass. But I have definitely learned the importance of that 9 month emergency savings fund, family, life saving friends and knowing exactly where every penny goes....just don't judge the highlights and that I am is desperate need of time with the <strong>Hairdresser</strong>.schmitball13http://www.blogger.com/profile/02944325458699567335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1133918097607192178.post-49325467037765635512015-06-24T18:39:00.000-05:002015-06-24T18:39:32.534-05:00ResetSome days, you just need a reset. It might be for a day, it might be for two days.<br />
<br />
I emailed my job coach this morning as I had just been feeling like I was close to shut down mode. I have not been feeling like doing my homework for her the past few days. Searching the job posts was not something I looked forward to. Hearing no on the job front was even worse and I dreaded going to my home office to "work". Then the crinkle in my Nebraska trip seemed to be like a straw in the camels back and shut down mode was there.<br />
<br />
Her advise was simple, 'take a break! Not forever, just a day or two where you don't even open emails'. Read a book, do something for you, do something fun, enjoy yourself.<br />
<br />
Anyone that knows me knows that for too long, I worked too many hours and probably had too many jobs. I think probably since the day I went into College I had at least two jobs. There was always softball and school work. But there was also the part time jobs during the school year, even in season. After college, if I wasn't at work, I was off coaching a team somewhere. Then there was the four plus years of 60 hour weeks working 7 days a week at two jobs. So, to some degree it has been nice not to work. BUT on the other hand, NOT having to work is absolutely killing me. <br />
<br />
It is also hard because now that it has been two months, life around you still goes on. The people around you still have jobs and go to work every day. Their routines haven't changed, just yours. When you first lose your job, everyone reaches out to you. They all check up on you, see how you are doing. Over time that fades. I don't think that they necessarily have forgotten you, they just get caught up in life and work. They forget to reach out. They think that they have filled you in on things or you know schedules but in reality, you do not. It is like you are in your own little bubble.<br />
<br />
However, what I have learned in the past two months is that at the end of the day, work does matter, but not that much. You have to have the job that you can find balance and harmony at. A job that you can find happiness in going into the office, doing your job and bringing joy to those you encounter throughout the day. But, you also need to be able to go home, leave work and make time for those you care about most and the things that bring you happiness. I learned that lesson the hard way. A lot of relationships were neglected for job that I loved, for a company who didn't love me back as much.<br />
<br />
Just because something is important to you, just because it brings you happiness does not always mean that others are going to see it that way. People in life will try and steal your thunder. There are always going to be people, whether intentional or not, that are going to try and steal your joy. Rise to the occasion and do not give them that pleasure. It is hard to do but one that is worth doing. Just because something is a priority to you, does not make it a priority to someone else, EVER. If you want it bad enough, you will find a way to make it work; you above! <br />
<br />
As a child blows the dandelion peddles in the wind...remember every situation is just that, powerless in your life if you do not give it a reaction.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3DoFsGtgY01moxideetgtXQ-n_nG9Kal4zG8zUGEdjzFL914tR59F9bu_ASjaT5q9Owcq-Ez_2BqWqCYnRkaT2bMS1nAY3Dt8oV_7h85xrgXMDIi5mOJkET8AB2rj9euunW2YcMR0gwIw/s1600/3898ec70eea72cb74575c7139ba8d355.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3DoFsGtgY01moxideetgtXQ-n_nG9Kal4zG8zUGEdjzFL914tR59F9bu_ASjaT5q9Owcq-Ez_2BqWqCYnRkaT2bMS1nAY3Dt8oV_7h85xrgXMDIi5mOJkET8AB2rj9euunW2YcMR0gwIw/s320/3898ec70eea72cb74575c7139ba8d355.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Reboot complete.<br />
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<br />schmitball13http://www.blogger.com/profile/02944325458699567335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1133918097607192178.post-50941119294850174022015-06-17T19:02:00.000-05:002015-06-17T19:02:06.410-05:00“You have brains in your head.... You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.” <br />
~Dr. Seuss<br />
<br />
Overwhelmed might be the theme right now. Crazy notion I know. I mean, I am not working, how can I possibly be THAT busy. But it is possible and it happens.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0Lr4E-wQK34HXMUo8rs_7gqKh7GTePkqiaM0uTyC0LF-mBICTseQWAgAbbAR0vt-hbp6Zj5a8Pe1CqPrVqcj0axhmbaZsZHFt5dVnPjok76Q3T79kgnkeJjvFObLmfGRaqMF0dx21CsMw/s1600/best-motivational-quotes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0Lr4E-wQK34HXMUo8rs_7gqKh7GTePkqiaM0uTyC0LF-mBICTseQWAgAbbAR0vt-hbp6Zj5a8Pe1CqPrVqcj0axhmbaZsZHFt5dVnPjok76Q3T79kgnkeJjvFObLmfGRaqMF0dx21CsMw/s320/best-motivational-quotes.jpg" width="320" /></a>What do I want to be when I grow up is the million dollar question right now. I mean I am 40+ years old. I have 20+ working years left. I've been an auditor. A tech consultant. A sales person. Operations Management. If you look at my books in my office, you would think it is personal finance. What industry? Insurance? Technology? Manufacturing? Finance? What is my niche? What should my area of focus be? That is the million dollar question. <br />
<br />
At the end of May I hired a firm to help me do just that. They are going to help me find that right job as well as get all the things done to get that right job. However, in the mean time, I have learned that Austin is a city of it is not what you know but who you know. So networking it is. I was in a networking event last F<br />
riday and they said that we should meet at least one new person a day. My side that leans towards introvert is already screaming at such a notion. :)<br />
<br />
However, during the past two months, I am doing a lot of self discovery and almost everyone that sees me for the first time in a long time comments that I look refreshed and relaxed. It further serves my reflection that losing this job was for the best. Did I imagine still being unemployed two months in, no! But am I still keeping busy, yes! Do I think that I will come out a better person in the end than when it happened, ABSOLUTELY!!!<br />
<br />
Right now I am in the process of trying to get a grant to go get my PMP (Project Management Program) & SQL Certifications. These are fancy names for let me oversee your project, run reports while it is going and summarize it when it is done. A lot of my work over the years has included the project management aspect piece, the certification makes me more marketable. So, if you would add me to the prayers that grant comes through, that would be much appreciated!<br />
<br />
I am still applying for jobs and doing interviews. Right now things are going slow in that category. I do not know if it is just Austin or if it is the Market. I am hopeful that once I get all my homework down with my consulting firm, that I will have more companies that I can start to reach out to in regards to job opportunities.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijdqLgySDtfn66UyG8ih2JdPlQAXuVExQThR6sVVxzCrRNa7DmfaD5oXjSdEj0ZYMtyn98DyeBNqrlLGlCsvKSwlQlcgJWCbXsDgZpwwXdmsq2LPTp43teawAKEPy199HYOVDdzu9Jb7VB/s1600/Charliebrown-1-.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijdqLgySDtfn66UyG8ih2JdPlQAXuVExQThR6sVVxzCrRNa7DmfaD5oXjSdEj0ZYMtyn98DyeBNqrlLGlCsvKSwlQlcgJWCbXsDgZpwwXdmsq2LPTp43teawAKEPy199HYOVDdzu9Jb7VB/s200/Charliebrown-1-.jpg" width="159" /></a>Of course, on top of all the home work, interviews, applying for jobs, classes, grants, etc, I am trying to still go through the house and purge. We are having a neighborhood garage sale this weekend (Saturday) so I am trying to get rid of everything that no longer brings me love or joy. Prime example...that purse that had Amigo's coupons from 2002 in it....clearly that purse no longer brought me joy. However, now I am stressing myself out because I have not quite finished purging, I still have to tag everything for the sale and I have only two days left in the week to do it. As Charlie Brown would say...AAugh....<br />
<br />
The work outs have been on a temporary break. Three weeks ago, I found myself crawling on the bathroom floor in horrible pain. A day and a 1/2 later, <b>Unicorn</b> took me to the urgent care because the pain was back and I just couldn't take it. Without running the bill up<br />
, based upon the initial tests, they felt I had kidney stones. So, needless to say, I didn't get much done work search wise or any workouts in that first week as I was hopped up on pain pills and the other medicine they gave me made me sleep on the time. The following week, I took it easy and this week, I just have been running crazy.<br />
<br />
Hopefully things will calm down after the garage sale! HOPEFULLY!schmitball13http://www.blogger.com/profile/02944325458699567335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1133918097607192178.post-77947444890720380872015-05-29T12:48:00.000-05:002015-05-29T12:49:42.182-05:00Life As We Know It<h3>
<span style="color: #ea9999;"><b><i>"We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." - E.M. Forster</i></b></span></h3>
<div>
<span style="color: #ea9999;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #ea9999;">I don't think it is a day that I will ever forget but I think it is a day that I needed to have and that everyone should really go through it once in their lifetime. It is one of the most humbling days, most trying days you can have. It is one of those days all you want to do is sit in a ball and cry and ask: Why me? How am I going to manage my finances? How am I going to pay my bills? What did I do to deserve this? To say I was scared out of my mind, pissed, sad and every emotion in between was an understatement. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ea9999;"><br /></span><span style="color: #ea9999;">But, I was also embarrassed. I did not want anyone to know. I was ashamed. I did not want the judgments, the gossip and just the overall hurt that are sometimes felt from individuals unintentional comments and words.</span><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOoh6GIDFb_xazmVSVaFnfoi91DU35ABfc9Z6mG8QVuH9IhiFz4Bzl00WsPyoE8U-JNb7tGViM4I7PaT9IzI9QIHfmnbUJNLCPmfEtlOU7qNn0w8inhFSRElAPGToDaQ0bnD26tdOOEoce/s1600/Journey.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOoh6GIDFb_xazmVSVaFnfoi91DU35ABfc9Z6mG8QVuH9IhiFz4Bzl00WsPyoE8U-JNb7tGViM4I7PaT9IzI9QIHfmnbUJNLCPmfEtlOU7qNn0w8inhFSRElAPGToDaQ0bnD26tdOOEoce/s320/Journey.jpg" width="213" /></a><span style="color: #ea9999;"><br /></span><span style="color: #ea9999;">On April 15th, I reported to work a little after 9. A little later than normal but I had been there until after 7 pm the night before as <b>Runner </b>was traveling for work which makes work life crazy and I had also been in meetings with the boss discussing delivery issues. At about 9:30 am, the boss came in and asked if I had a minute; I said sure. Of course, what would play out next, never entered my realm of thinking. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ea9999;"><br /></span><span style="color: #ea9999;">We entered the conference room and the CFO was sitting there and I jokingly said, "Well, this can't be good." His response was "No, it is not." Of course that sent my mind racing of, is this some kind of Performance plan, are we not getting bonuses this year because we hadn't so far, but instead I got, </span><br />
<span style="color: #ea9999;"><br /></span></div>
<h3>
<span style="color: #ea9999;"><i>"The Company is restructuring and you did not make the cut. Today is your last day. Here is your severance package and your separation agreement. Feel free to have an attorney review the agreement if you feel it is necessary." ~ CFO</i></span></h3>
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<span style="color: #ea9999;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<span style="color: #ea9999; font-weight: normal;">Then I was asked if I wanted to clean out my office now or come back later. That was it. Short and sweet. No explanation. No thank you for busting your ass the past year cleaning up the messes that were left behind by other people we fired. No thank you for working so many nights and weekends without additional pay. </span><span style="color: #ea9999; font-weight: normal;">Of course, my boss being who he was, never said a word during any of it, he let the CFO do all the talking.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ea9999; font-weight: normal;"><br /></span><span style="color: #ea9999; font-weight: normal;">Obviously I opted to come back after hours to clean out my office and do it when just a few were left in the building. It truly is a humbling experience being escorted out of the building. My parting comments to my boss were: </span><br />
<span style="color: #ea9999; font-weight: normal;"><br /></span>
<br />
<h4>
<span style="color: #ea9999;"><i>"You bust your ass for a company and this is how they repay you. So very generous of them."</i></span></h4>
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<span style="color: #ea9999;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #ea9999;">Ultimately there were three of us that were let go in the coming days. Two of us from operations and the Vice President of Marketing. I think it is safe to say that not one of us saw it coming. There had been rumors the company was looking at merging/buying another company and there had been dog and pony shows but ironically I was the one telling people that we just needed to keep doing what we were doing. We couldn't get our job done in a 40 hour week the way it was, how could they possible get rid of us? Silly, silly me.</span></div>
<div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY1idLZk48tD-LuwPTLBoDQf83g-Ikz0F6OHPN1UMHzrBDl7RIrgIejby2eDu_Lj0iQGcPRBYKaf-wXQH11z5nfTd-IxW7p0rmTAe9mTCb_jSe87j7tQVwYPFu32Ow4L4MQIqa31ZYezx-/s1600/Rumi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY1idLZk48tD-LuwPTLBoDQf83g-Ikz0F6OHPN1UMHzrBDl7RIrgIejby2eDu_Lj0iQGcPRBYKaf-wXQH11z5nfTd-IxW7p0rmTAe9mTCb_jSe87j7tQVwYPFu32Ow4L4MQIqa31ZYezx-/s1600/Rumi.jpg" /></a><span style="color: #ea9999;">The past month and a half has been a learning experience. Obviously I kept this on a need to know basis and after about a month in, I am fully at peace with everything. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. I know I have grown from this experience and that I will be better off from it. I have put my trust and faith in God and so far, he has taken care of me. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #ea9999;">Of course, when I have those moments of weakness, I do have the <b>Unicorn</b> here to bust me in the ass and tell me to get my stuff together. She kindly gave me one day of mourning on loosing my job. I was allowed one day of tears and then from there, I needed to be focused and get stuff done. If I have down days, she kicks me in the ass and pretty much tells me to get over it, the only person I can control and worry about is myself. She really is a cheerleader in my life. I am not sure how I was blessed for her to come into my life but very thankful for it.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #ea9999;">Now, how unprepared can one be for this you ask? Oh...I don't know...I had not updated my resume since I took the job in October 2012. Then there is the fact that in reality my resume really was still dating back to circa 2007 as I knew <b>Runner </b>at the company and being that it was so small, it was just a matter of getting an updated resume in their hands. This thing had no objective, no results I produced. Thankfully <b>Unicorn </b>and <b>Grace</b> helped me get that updated as best as possible so I could start sending out applications by the following Monday. One day to mourn and by business day four of being laid off, I was sending off resumes.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #ea9999;">Since then I have been firing off resumes for all kinds of jobs. I have had referrals from all kinds of sources. I have been blessed to have a lot of my customers that I worked with in this last role either offer to be a reference, ask for my resume to pass along or even line me up with an interview. The <b>SIL </b>asked if I would at least consider jobs closer to home as I have a niece and nephew that would enjoy seeing their aunt more often, so where I will land is God's will. Ironically my first phone interview was with a company in Omaha. Ultimately I did not get it but I thought it was funny since I could never get an interview in Texas when I was trying to move here.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #ea9999;">I have had one offer so far. The job was not the right fit for me and I had to decline, but it was an offer. </span><span style="color: #ea9999;">The interviews keep coming and at some point, when the time is right, the right job will be offered. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #ea9999;">Of course, I have learned that navigating the unemployment system in Texas is also a treat. You hear the don't mess with Texas stuff all the time and they pretty much say that all over the place when you log in every two weeks to request your unemployment, note what you have been doing in your search, etc. Silly me, fearing "don't mess with Texas" told them about the job I declined because it asks if you declined any jobs. Now keep in mind the "rules" are that after 8 weeks of being unemployed, you have to consider jobs that are 25% less than what you previously made. Well the job I turned down was far more than the 25% pay cut and since it hadn't been 8 weeks, it shouldn't be an issue, right? WRONG. Apparently I missed the part that I only should report the jobs that I turned down that were "suitable" in nature. As a result, my unemployment is on hold until further notice until they have time to investigate. They are unable to give me a timeline of how long this "investigation" could take.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #ea9999;">Oh the joys...you can only laugh and just keep trudging along. Beating myself up is not going to help the issue and I can only control what I can control. So, in the meantime, I will keep applying, keep interviewing and keep saying the rosary. There is an odd connection to the days that I say the rosary to the days that I get emails for job interviews and/or job leads; coincidence or Divine Intervention? I think I'll stick to the later and keep saying that rosary. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #ea9999;">And now you know "The Rest of the Story...Good Day." ~ Paul Harvey</span></div>
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schmitball13http://www.blogger.com/profile/02944325458699567335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1133918097607192178.post-19495949887829183282015-05-04T16:27:00.000-05:002015-05-04T16:27:02.042-05:00Old FashionWell any update in the blog world would not be complete with an update in the dating world. <br />
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Of course, since I had not updated anyone in six months since the complete debacle of <b>ATM</b>, I better start with the one that there was initial hope for. Now keep in mind, I was at the point I was done with dating. I mean what was the point because I really wasn't meeting anyone of quality substance even though the red flag radar was getting better.<br />
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Then <b>Vanilla Horndog</b> reentered the picture. If you need a refresher on him, just go to the "<a href="http://skrsntexas.blogspot.com/p/my-peeps.html" target="_blank">My Peeps</a>" section. He and I had remained friends on Facebook and chatted every once in awhile but that was about it. He had called me out of the blue one day and things were beyond crazy at work and so I never really got around to calling him back in a timely fashion. Oddly enough, then one day I got a friend request from some guy I did not know but <b>Vanilla Horndog</b> was a mutual friend on Facebook. Of course, I didn't do anything with it and sat on it until I had time to connect with <b>VH</b>. <br />
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Well, as irony would have it, <b>VH</b> thought he had the fix for all of these dating problems. He knew a cool single guy and in his opinion, me being the cool single girl, well he thought we would be a good match. Of course, this would explain the odd friend request. Now this guy was an employee of <b>VH's</b> and he thought we might make a good pair. Now, I was still on the fence, but <b>Unicorn</b> said I HAD to go. For one, in her opinion, this guy was obviously already vetted by someone that knew me and two, apparently was in a good branch of the military at some point. <br />
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I figured why not. Well, we made it two dates before I was informed I was old fashioned. Everything seemed really normal and he appeared to be a really nice guy. Had his stuff together, had custody of one son and a good relationship with his ex-wife. Why was I called Old-Fashioned, you ask? Wait for it....<br />
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Yup...I am not interested in dating a functioning <b>POT HEAD</b>.<br />
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Yes, that is right, he liked his dope. Apparently he was high every time we went out. Apparently he is high all day, every day. BUT, he rarely drinks. In his mind, being high all the time is being sober. Sadly <b>Vanilla Horndog</b> was not aware of this and so I had to explain to him why this was not going to work out. He felt bad. No idea what it did to his job but I had to be honest.<br />
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I have lived enough to know that I prefer to enjoy most of my days sober and want my partner to be able to enjoy life sober as well. <br />
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So friends, if you are not okay with anyone that can "function" at being addicting to a mind altering substance all day, every day...you too are:<br />
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<span style="color: magenta;"><i><span style="font-size: large;"><b>OLD FASHIONED. </b></span></i></span>schmitball13http://www.blogger.com/profile/02944325458699567335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1133918097607192178.post-81197048792481727722015-04-28T18:40:00.000-05:002015-04-28T18:40:58.688-05:00Where does time go?WOW! Six months? Really doesn't seem that long ago that I was here.<br />
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What's even more of a WOW factor is that there are even followers that still come back and troll to see that I have failed, failed to update you on life, failed to even say what's up! Yes, the the world continues to spin here in Texas, some days way faster than I want, some days in a direction I do not want but....<br />
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Oh life. <br />
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I have wrote hundred's of blog posts in my mind over the past six months. I have wrote even more in the past month. There is so much on my mind these past few weeks that I would love to share with everyone but I am just not at that place that I am ready to talk about it, YET. (Never fear...it is not health related, no I am not Pregnant and no I am not getting married!)<br />
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There is one thing for certain that I know, how life is today, is not how I probably pictured it the day I walked across the stage when I graduated high school. It probably is not how I pictured it when I left college. I know that it is not what I imaged it being at the beginning of December, but then again I never imagine January being what it was back in the first of December either. Surly today as I sit writing this, I never pictured this month being what it was, maybe if ever, in my lifetime.<br />
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One thing I do know is that life happens. No matter how much we plan, no matter how much we think we have it laid out in front of us, life happens and really the only person that knows where we will end up in life is the man upstairs. What we can do in life is grow from it, learn from it and embrace the challenges that have been laid out in front of us. God gives us the choice in life. We can choose to be bitter and angry or we can choose to be positive and seek growth from the challenges He gives us. <br />
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In the end, it's a matter of how do you want to face your maker, do you want to say, I accepted Your challenge and look at the better person you made me...or do you want to say well screw you, you handed me a life of lemons and crap and I am just over it. The choice is within each of us and I think just writing this post helped me clear out some of my fog from today and made me focus back on what my choice always is. Of course some love from <b>Momma Bear</b> never hurts either.<br />
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So, with that said, I clearly have some catching up to do...about 6 months worth and a lot of insight to share along the way. I have done a lot of growing, especially in the past few weeks and definitely a lot more to go in the coming months. If you are following this blog, you will be growing with me. This will be a personal, spiritual, financial, life growing journey.<br />
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Stay tuned...I promise it won't be 6 more months before you hear from me...maybe more like 6 hours. Until then, remember, your glass is half full or at least has room for a refresher. <br />
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Love ya!<br />
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<br />schmitball13http://www.blogger.com/profile/02944325458699567335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1133918097607192178.post-67000808012243217052014-09-22T17:07:00.001-05:002014-09-22T17:07:42.300-05:00You just can't make this shit up...Seriously, when it comes to my dating life...you really have to stop and ponder, how does this shit happen.<br />
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Well, it does start with crappy taste in men. Clearly that is the historical pattern. Yes there have been some good ones, but the serious ones are crappy. However, the VERY good news on this front is that the choices are getting better. The last is never quite as craptacular as the one before. So let's celebrate that moment.<br />
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As for the rest...buckle up because this is an 18 month tale you will say...you can't make this shit up...by the end.<br />
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So we know that historically, the <b>EX</b> was the worst of the worst. Ultimate fail. Then there was <b>NODIY</b>. While he might of won in the category of not physically abusive to me, there was the emotional abuse as well as just the slob factor. Then came along <b>ATM</b> man shortly after <b>NODIY</b> finally packed up his junk and got out. It was a victory with no physical or emotional abuse...but he had this other issue.<br />
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Oh the hope for <b>ATM</b> was there. We had so many things in common. Both single, never married, no kids. He played professional baseball for awhile, enjoyed golf, had a good career, his own place and seemed like an overall decent guy. But, we know as I go...they can never be normal and if they seem too good, it definitely is too good to be true.<br />
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Things started going downhill with ATM in the fall of last year. He was always "too busy" with work to do anything. According to him he had events, and all these other things going on with work that he didn't have time to date or do anything. We would still do things, it was just few and far between. We agreed that we were "dating" but we were not committed to each other and were allowed to date other people.<br />
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Being at the point that I was over men, I was okay with it. It was what it was. On the night of my birthday, I got a text from some random chick claiming that she was dating him and that there were others, blah, blah blah. The ironic factor on it was that we were actually out to dinner for my birthday when I got it. Obviously he and I had a talk about it and really didn't think too much of it. We were dating, we were free to go out with other people. I had gone out on random dates here or there in my quest to find the right guy but nothing had panned out. Apparently the other chicks in this email distribution were not under the same understanding and the catfights were classic. It was actually comical to sit back and watch it unfold because I knew where I stood with <b>ATM </b>and clearly they had zero idea. Obviously it started to give me insight into who he really was.<br />
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Then came March and <b>ATM </b>attended the Round Rock Express game (our Triple A team) with me. It was a work function in which we had Suite tickets and a lot of the execs from work were there. Of course, he did what he does best and used it as a networking function. Well, during the course of the game, I happen to see one of his text messages he received that said "I love you and appreciate you." Instinct took over and I knew that was more than someone he was just "dating". Of course, I was 700 hundred shades of pissed off but really couldn't deal with it in the moment as we were surrounded by work people. Last thing I needed was them involved in is my stupid dating drama.<br />
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Well, according to HIM, she was someone through work that passed loans his way, etc. He tried to explain that she was married, had two kids, her husband was in the legislature, how he didn't like they way they talked to each other, blah, blah, blah. Of course, I am not an IDIOT and I was not born yesterday and your lies do not fool me. Let's just say he was in a tailspin by the next morning when I informed him that they WERE married and he forgot to mention the divorce they got in 2007. Apparently the fool didn't realize that people in the legislature have public records. Because I am also very crafty in my research, I was able to track her down. In his mind, he was dating her (AKA <b>JDC</b>) and was in love with her, never mind he was in my bed the day before. Seriously, you are a jack ass. I gave him through the weekend (it was a Thursday) to come clean with her. I informed him that I was going to follow up with her too ensure he told the truth. It's one thing to deal with this shit, it is another to know he brought her kids into it. I held to my word and did mail this lady. Women united in anger...for the moment.<br />
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Don't get me wrong, I was crushed. I had so much hope in<b> ATM</b>. He was a good guy, we had so much in common and were great friends. For a good while we really didn't talk at all. But then slowly, we reestablished the friendship. We started doing things together again but we were strictly friends and sex was off the table. It was a clear understanding from me that should I find out that he has lied to me, or spinned information to be deceitful...I was done and out. Of course, he was playing the games with my heart. He was always talking about how he was making all of these positive changes in his life, how I would always have his heart, and it went on and on. <br />
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Well you know where this is going....news flash...apparently I didn't ask the right questions. I had once asked in passing if he was dating Pamela again. She was one of the crazy girls back from my birthday. Ha...I didn't ask the right question. One fateful Friday night, I got an email from <b>JDC</b>, reading me the riot act for something I had given <b>ATM.</b> So didn't see it coming but should have.<br />
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Wait for it....see <b>ATM</b> had started seeing <b>JDC</b> again and wanted a relationship with her. I didn't ask so he didn't feel the need to tell me. We weren't dating, remember? Well when that shit didn't fly, he honestly told me that he was saying all the things he was to me because he thought I was....wait for it....<br />
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<span style="color: cyan; font-size: x-large;"><b>SUICIDAL</b></span><br />
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Yep, that is right folks. He tried to spin it that he was lying and saying what he was saying because I was suicidal. Nope. Not suicidal but I might be homicidal. Needless to say that was the final straw. <b>JDC</b> was less than kind in some of her emails. She even informed me that she would make sure I was "kicked to the curb". You can't kick someone that is freely exiting the building. You can be tomorrow's trash, I'm done. I was just like look, you can have him. If you want someone around your kids as a role model that cannot keep his dick in his pants...well have it and don't be surprised when you find out he lied to you yet again.<br />
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So, that was in June and well I can say that I have had no contact him with him since then. He still has some small stuff of mine that apparently he is too immature to return. But, I'd rather not have that scum in my life. As my roommate says...he's a douchebag.<br />
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Now, if you are ever in the business of needing commercial loans in ATX area...please let me know and I am happy to share with you who <b>ATM</b> is and who you should NOT use.<br />
<br />schmitball13http://www.blogger.com/profile/02944325458699567335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1133918097607192178.post-39125092974376040502014-09-11T14:21:00.000-05:002014-09-11T14:21:23.456-05:00An Apple a Day...Is not keeping the doctor away.<br />
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I think I am adjusting to life as a diabetic, pretty well. Maybe as well as can be expected. From a medical standpoint, my last check up reveals that I would considered someone that is pre-diabetic or has very well managed diabetes. So, THAT is a WIN in my book.<br />
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I have come to find that like my <b>Grammy</b> and <b>Momma Bear</b>, I too suffer from the diabetic crash at night. I was always waking up with headaches but my blood sugar numbers were higher than what they should be by morning. Well, after doing a few tests in the middle of the night, I was finding that my numbers were really low and my body was automatically rebounding them. So, to counter that, if I have not had a late dinner, I will have a cracker with peanut butter to tied me over to the morning. So far it is working because waking up with a throbbing headache is NOT a good start to the day.<br />
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Outside of the middle of the night crashes, I really do keep it in check and have only had one recent blood sugar crash. That happened while flying for my racecation in Seattle. Going through two different time zones and leaving Austin before 6:30 am and arriving at 2:30 pm Seattle time...well I learned that a bagel with cream cheese and a piece of fruit will NOT keep my blood sugar stable for that long of a period of time. Thankfully I had my Glucose tablets on me and <b>Momma Bear </b>was wiser than me and had traveled with peanuts, both of which saved the day.<br />
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I am still watching what I eat and making a slow gradual decline in the weight front. With all the marathons this year, two 1/2 marathon's so far, I am seeing more inches versus weight go. So far, as of Tuesday, I am down 11.6 lbs, or 6%. Definitely been a great feeling shopping in the closest. <b>Runner</b> is also kind enough to point out those outfits that should be retired or never worn again unless they are going to a tailor first, which is never a bad thing to have happen. <br />
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But even with all the victories, the last six month check up was still a bust on the blood work and back to the doctor I went. My overall cholesterol number is good, however, my LDL (good) cholesterol and triglycerides were NOT good. From what I have learned, it is a complication that is common with Diabetes. At least the cholesterol is. But, I have an amazing doctor that thinks outside of the box (or at least I see it that way) and had another plan of attack than going on more medication to fix the cholesterol and triglycerides.<br />
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So with that, I have started the journey of the weight loss pill. No, it is not the magic fix all pill that everyone wants. This first 4 weeks, I am on a very low dose to see how I tolerate it and make sure that it does not leave me with the jitters. So far, so good on that front. I am still required to get my exercise in and journal my food. So, if you are using MyFitnessPal or a Fitbit, hit me up. I can always use extra motivation and encouragement. I go back in for a follow up on September 30th. If all is well, then they will up my dosage and I will continue that for 6 months. <br />
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The overall goal of this is to try and spring the weight loss since I have stuck around 183 for awhile now. Her belief is that as the weight goes, my cholesterol and triglycerides will follow suit. If that does not happen, it will be time to add a few more pills to the mix.<br />
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So while an apple day is not keeping the doctor away, I am fairly healthy and trying to at least stay on top of that which is not healthy.schmitball13http://www.blogger.com/profile/02944325458699567335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1133918097607192178.post-39770396262660774802014-09-08T16:52:00.000-05:002014-09-08T16:52:00.688-05:00Same Song, 2nd Versus, A Little Bit Louder, A Little Bit Worse....<br />
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Now that I have that song stuck in your head...you're welcome. <br />
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For those that do not know it..."You can't ride my little red wagon, the axle's broken and the wheels are...."<br />
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Now the rest of you...YOU are welcome. <br />
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Yes as I have said once before, I fail even with the best laid plans. I was going to blog more, swear...then life happened. I know I have secret followers out there and I have failed you. For that I am sorry. So much has happened that I do not even know where to begin. <br />
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In the reality of my life, the phrase "You can't make this shit up" applies so much this year. <br />
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And with that teaser...I'll check in with you tomorrow.schmitball13http://www.blogger.com/profile/02944325458699567335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1133918097607192178.post-34917452353872031192014-05-14T17:03:00.000-05:002014-05-14T17:08:28.037-05:00Great Power Involves Great ResponsibilityThey were words spoken by FDR.<br />
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They are words that I do not take lightly as I start on my new adventure. Last night, I was elected the newest member of the Board of Directors of Brookfield Homeowners Association. <br />
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They told me that no one ever wants to be on the 3 person board and I finally stood up as everyone just looked at each other. I figured, why not? It cannot be any worse than hosting a tournament of 50+ teams of crazy softball girls and parents for three days. Or being on the board of directors for Lancaster Youth Softball Association (LYSA).<br />
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Of course, as luck would have it, two more people also ran. One served on the board back when they were still building homes with the builders. The other had been in the neighborhood since 2003. Both also had more wisdom on their side in age. I figured I was home free and no one would vote for me. Heck...I even debated if I wanted to vote for myself or if I should vote for one of the others. I really felt I shouldn't vote for myself, like in the high school days were you couldn't nominate anyone off of your team. But, I wanted at least one vote.<br />
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Ha! As fate would have it, I was voted into office. It was weird, I won. Maybe if my college days had not been too crazy, maybe I could run for a public office. Kidding, Kidding!<br />
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So, as of today, I have officially become a board member and had to vote to approve a landscape plan for a home owner that included a shed. I suppose I should dig out those rules and read them. Clearly I have not followed them as I just planted my plants where ever I saw fit that was both pleasing to the eye and maintained the drainage flow of the yard.<br />
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Let the good times begin. It is a two year term with quarterly meetings and then more done by way of email.<br />
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May I always make the right decision.<br />
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As for training...after work tonight, it is a cross training day so it is a walk to Walgreen's to pick up my prescription. A little shy of 3 miles tonight.schmitball13http://www.blogger.com/profile/02944325458699567335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1133918097607192178.post-1410619934270979882014-05-12T16:07:00.000-05:002014-05-12T16:07:29.327-05:00RealityReality is starting to set in and my panic button might be in full force. In 34 days, I am suppose to be running 13.1 miles. In 21 days, I will have needed to hit my fundraising goal.<br />
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Can I tell you that I am no where ready for either? <br />
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I was at the disadvantage of being diagnosed with Bronchitis this spring. It knocked me on my tail! I have no idea how I ever managed to continue to play ball and go to class when I had it all the time in college. Either this time was really bad or the ability to nap during the day during college was a godsend. I refuse to believe that age plays a factor. <br />
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The first 7 days of antibiotics and cough medicine did nothing for me, just put a dent in it. So, when I hit day 14 of still not feeling well, I went back in to the see the doctor again. This time it was continue the cough medicine, 7 days of steroids and an asthma inhaler. It took another solid week and a half, but I FINALLY can breathe again.<br />
<br />
Of course, during all that down time, I seriously slacked on fundraising AND training. I committed to raising $3,600 by June 1. If I don't hit that number...well it comes out of my pocket. So, if you have NOT donated today...please do so!!! It is a penny less than I have to come up with. Already donated, ask your friends, give up a beer and donate again. Isn't a cure for cancer worth a little sacrifice?<br />
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<a href="http://pages.teamintraining.org/sctx/rnrseatl14/jschmidt" id="yui_3_7_2_25_1399928105292_61" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">http://pages.teamintraining.org/sctx/rnrseatl14/jschmidt</span></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDy1D8Mv9ZXSVG5M598S3QEkqz38u_HCqx8ZTF70G0ncw4Rwv3XD-RUSV5rwU07O6iUo5YhK65rAUrBrv9naPo7jqSFxs7L3On9BfEqR2KlM2rqgqr0IrsGZZm6gNqxVyC-wOwNx5jFn6X/s1600/IMG_6721.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDy1D8Mv9ZXSVG5M598S3QEkqz38u_HCqx8ZTF70G0ncw4Rwv3XD-RUSV5rwU07O6iUo5YhK65rAUrBrv9naPo7jqSFxs7L3On9BfEqR2KlM2rqgqr0IrsGZZm6gNqxVyC-wOwNx5jFn6X/s1600/IMG_6721.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a>Training for 13.1 miles has also taken a major hit as well. First it was 4 weeks of not being able to breathe and then struggling to walk around the building. I can do that now...but some how not doing anything made my IT Band worse. On Friday night, I had resorted to pain pills and not being able to step up into the trailer. However, I refuse to let it stop me. Stretching, rolling, ice, Epson Salt baths...I WILL run this race darn it.</div>
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So, I am begging you to help. I am not giving up on training...help me with the fundraising. </div>
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I am Refusing to Sink...my motto I see daily!</div>
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I need your help today!</div>
schmitball13http://www.blogger.com/profile/02944325458699567335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1133918097607192178.post-84843499629408545222014-03-13T13:43:00.003-05:002014-03-13T13:44:39.529-05:00RaceCationYes, yes I am discovering that it is really a thing. A great thing. It's doing a race and making it a vacation.<br />
<br />
My race in Seattle will be just that, a RaceCation with my Aunt & Momma Bear. We will fly to Seattle pre-race and then head to Portland post race and fly home from there. It's becoming a VERY real thing in that I bought my airline ticket yesterday. Yay!<br />
<br />
Of course, the RaceCation took on a whole new life this week. One of the gals that I am training with mentioned a 1/2 Marathon Race in the Bahama's in January 2015. Ummm, why wouldn't a person do this? Well my mom saw the post and she of course was telling people I was going to do it. So, to make sure I didn't disappoint Momma Bear, I am officially registered for a race in the Bahama's in January 2015. <br />
<br />
So, apparently my training will need to continue for the next year.<br />
<br />
Training is going well. I am battling soreness in my IT band and my calf right now. I have been seeing Dr. Seth Wagenblast and he has been a godsend. For the most part, the IT pain is gone and now the calf tightness has crept up because the other muscles have all relaxed. If you are in the Austin area and need help for any type of exercise induced pain, I recommend going to see him. He offers free roll out clinics and even free evaluations. You can find him by clicking <a href="http://astrehab.com/" target="_blank">here!</a><br />
<br />
Monday's and Wednesday's I am back to do boot camp at 5:30 am. I so hate the early mornings but my body sure likes the results. The muscles definitely remind me that they were not worked this way just by running. Of course, those days I also have to walk the pups in the evening. If you know Finnegan...this is a necessary evil. (He still hasn't slowed down at 5.)<br />
<br />
Tuesday's we have what is called "Hill" practice. AKA, they find some of the worst hills in Austin and decide we should run those routes. Well this week we graduated to the really bad hills and will stay there for the rest of the season. They start us with Loops 1 & 3 through a neighborhood. Apparently once we become a little more conditioned, we can do Loop2 as well. I'll have to post a picture because these are crazy insane hills.<br />
<br />
Thursday we have track practice. Yes, it really is on a track. We do different things each week that will help improve our cardio, improve race speed and includes focus on right techniques. They also like to throw in a lot of core exercises after practice too. (I HATE planks, that is all!)<br />
<br />
Friday, well this is REST DAY. Well rest in that I just walk the pups on a short walk. That is a daily affair in addition to the training schedule.<br />
<br />
Last Saturday we did 8 miles in this cold mist/drizzle/rain. About a mile in the mist became more of a heavy drizzle/rain. My thoughts were turn around. But, there is still a chance it could rain in Seattle so we stuck it out. There was some pretty good hills on the route this week. <br />
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And that is the training that preps me for RaceCations!schmitball13http://www.blogger.com/profile/02944325458699567335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1133918097607192178.post-78115591939938798482014-02-24T19:38:00.000-06:002014-02-24T19:38:29.415-06:00She's Gone Mad Part II<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Yes, it is true. After months of not posting, I have officially gone cray, cray. In other words, crazy. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Even though my doctor told me I would never be able to run again, I still didn't want to believe it. I was not ready to give up on my hobby of softball or just running for exercise. In September, I started working with Team and Training on the leadership team.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">For those of you who do not know what Team in Training is, they are a nonprofit organization that raises money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma society, or should I say their participants do. Individuals sign up with Team in Training. The participants agree to raise a set dollar amount and in turn, they are trained to do an endurance event. It can be a marathon, a hike through the Grand Canyon, a Triathlon or a 100 mile Bike Ride. If you have thought about doing some event like this and were afraid, this is the group to do it with as they will train you, teach you what to eat, help you stay healthy and provide your training schedule while you raise a few dollars. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span>Team In
Training is a group that increases awareness of the work of The Leukemia and
Lymphoma Society and raises money towards finding cures for leukemia, lymphoma,
Hodgkin’s disease, and myeloma.<span>
</span>Participants train for nationally recognized marathons, century rides,
or triathlons in the name of all patients, including my Honored Hero.</span></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span>Leukemia is
the number one disease-killer of children under 15, and lymphoma is the leading
killer of men and women under 35.<span> </span>Every
five minutes, someone in the United States learns that they have leukemia,
lymphoma or myeloma.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span></span></span></span></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">This past winter, I served as the Mission Captain for the
Winter Season. My job was simple, for each Saturday practice, I found a
person to share their Mission with the team, why they are part of Team
in Training. As you can imagine, there are definitely stories of
victory and stories of heartbreak. Our overall goal is to find a cure
so we can celebrate more victories than heartbreaks!</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Well during the Winter Seasons Injury Prevention Clinic, I got a second opinion on my knee (free of charge- YAY). In looking at my knee, the doctor said there was no way that I needed a knee replacement and my ACL was fine. Then he grabbed my leg in a certain manner, and I never knew a person could fly off a table so high, but I sure did. His finding, it was my IT band. For those of you that do not know what that is, you can <a href="http://www.runnersworld.com/tag/itbs-iliotibial-band-syndrome" target="_blank"><b>click here </b></a>to learn more. My IT band had attached itself to quadricep and was no longer gliding over it. Hence why my knee hurt every time I ran and why my hip always ached. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Well after a solid month of exercises and continued walking, the problem eased and I found that I did not need my knee brace anymore. I then began running again. Yes, running that thing I wasn't suppose to do. By January, I was able to run for a 1 minute, walk for 3 minutes and finish my 13.1 miles. It might not have been fast but I was doing something I was told I could not do anymore and I finished a 1/2 marathon without ending up in a walking boot!! Whoooohoooo!!!!!</span></span><br />
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</span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">And so the running fever has returned. I decided that this season it was time again to be just a participate and raise money on
my own for a very important cause.</span><span> </span><span> </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">So the “</span><b>She’s
Gone Mad Part II”</b><span style="font-family: inherit;"> Campaign has officially began!</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">My commitment to you between now and June is to blog on a weekly, if not daily basis and share all the training and juggling of life that goes on while taking on this endurance event. It's not easy but it is so worth it. Tonight I have spent a 1/2 hour so far just updating my letters I need to send out, updating my fundraising website and updating you here. I still have envelopes to stuff and address so it will be a busy evening. Of course, let's not forget, today is a cross training day so I need to get in a 1/2 hour walk with the pups yet tonight.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">You can follow my fundraising efforts here:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://pages.teamintraining.org/sctx/rnrseatl14/jschmidt" id="yui_3_7_2_25_1393289843634_82" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://pages.teamintraining.org/sctx/rnrseatl14/jschmidt</a></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">In the spirit of Team in Training, I sign of tonight with:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #351c75;">GO TEAM!!!!!</span></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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schmitball13http://www.blogger.com/profile/02944325458699567335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1133918097607192178.post-40154139969724747692013-10-08T13:39:00.002-05:002013-10-09T10:52:32.681-05:00We may not have it all together....Most go through life with maybe a brother or a sister, maybe a couple, some few, some none. However, I am blessed beyond measure. It truly wasn't until I had a conversation with my SIL that I realized how really, really blessed I am and how from outside looking in, our family is really awesome. <br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB6s911M_dInkIYJ_73EvERqMNDxcZn4M7zwan5yL4XSsGgMAMTO01jAmGB-wL6mjAw2j32wz2x4fcezMSA1CXK0i-jrL2EqwJbseGbbDO0eNm10TTyxa40-SXOTZq0YwaziXnAykhjsqE/s1600/cuz3.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="117" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB6s911M_dInkIYJ_73EvERqMNDxcZn4M7zwan5yL4XSsGgMAMTO01jAmGB-wL6mjAw2j32wz2x4fcezMSA1CXK0i-jrL2EqwJbseGbbDO0eNm10TTyxa40-SXOTZq0YwaziXnAykhjsqE/s320/cuz3.png" width="320" /></a>Yes, I was raised with two brothers. However, I really have 6 sisters and 7 brothers, most would just refer to the extras as cousins. My dad comes from a large Catholic farm family. He was the baby of 7, who in turn blessed my grandparents with 14 grandchildren. Of course the age spectrum is wide, as one would expect, but I was truly blessed to call some of these my best friends.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidCDZ1Xw15cVIw9VUE4hqmNqDGr_3_Zo4VmuSs1rxQFFOEQtxkx3S5OweokVta9X8MkL_N-g5LlJUB7h6pxzCqjwlAIUT44fuskRK0fo-Ro1xTtyg_Z5T8U-P65uMeKUbOg9td2bRC48Am/s1600/cuz.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidCDZ1Xw15cVIw9VUE4hqmNqDGr_3_Zo4VmuSs1rxQFFOEQtxkx3S5OweokVta9X8MkL_N-g5LlJUB7h6pxzCqjwlAIUT44fuskRK0fo-Ro1xTtyg_Z5T8U-P65uMeKUbOg9td2bRC48Am/s320/cuz.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Cousins 2013 (Missing Russ & Shane)</td></tr>
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My branch of the tree was different in that we didn't grow up near Grandma & Grandpa's. We moved to Lincoln when I was 5, while the rest of my cousins stayed near "home". However, that didn't change much for us "city" kids. I think three out of four weekends a month, we spent back home visiting the grandparents and our friends, aka cousins. Every summer, for two weeks my oldest brother and I spent time up north with them. My godparents, I always believed, earned a saint award as they were crazy enough to host us 'younger' cousins all in one weekend. Seven of us were had those weekends and while I am pretty sure us girls were the saint of the bunch, the boys sure tested the rules. I cannot count the injuries, the times we played with fire and all the bad things that were had...but, I will never forget those times, the memories.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2NaDq0x-c_E8goWkMAWcK8ePNndTy9vEDcpCKlYzCOp0hvy3VoGmcP8AFmB9WpGO2fly0BibRBaGxOAXZ3Q-M8_Gn3lahGbX0yyn4UqFVgjAlxko6AfKGdVsWAIUbjVKbGduhWIaAwiY4/s1600/cuz2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="226" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2NaDq0x-c_E8goWkMAWcK8ePNndTy9vEDcpCKlYzCOp0hvy3VoGmcP8AFmB9WpGO2fly0BibRBaGxOAXZ3Q-M8_Gn3lahGbX0yyn4UqFVgjAlxko6AfKGdVsWAIUbjVKbGduhWIaAwiY4/s320/cuz2.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This seems like a bad idea...</td></tr>
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There was family vacations together...who could forget Worlds of Fun and Oceans of Fun? There has been plenty of weddings since those early days. We have been attendants, candle lighters, hall decorators, and just there for each other. They truly are some of the best friends a person can have and the best part is that they REALLY get how crazy this family is, with all our faults.<br />
<br />
But the best part is that the cycle has not broke once the weddings have been had and new branches have been started. The cousins still see each other, the children are friends with each other and the cycle continues. Maybe one day Aunt Jenn can have some of those little minions visit Texas. I'm sure they would have fun stories with that trip.<br />
<br />
Some days it is these exact people that make living in Texas so hard. In reality, it is being so far from family that is the only negative of living in Texas. Of course, some days it is a blessing in disguise. However, today is one of those hard days as we say goodbye to Aunt Mary. Her life was cut way too short and was called home on Thursday. After talks with my parents, since I was just with everyone and saw her just a few short weeks ago, they didn't feel I needed to come back. It has not been an easy decision as I am sure there are plenty of laughs going around right now as everyone remembers the stories to be had and I am missing out. However, I know I am there in spirit and have said my extra rosary's for Mary. <br />
<br />
What is the saying...We may not have it all together, but together we have it all. I am truly blessed.<br />
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<br />schmitball13http://www.blogger.com/profile/02944325458699567335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1133918097607192178.post-126960713102845292013-09-30T17:50:00.000-05:002013-09-30T17:50:43.656-05:00Broken PromisesI think my Facebook post said it best on Saturday: "<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">I've been through some pretty bad things in life but this has to be one of the worst. My (heart) hurts."</span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"></span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">On Saturday, I had to put down one of my foster dogs, Bentley. It was not a decision that I made but one I had to follow through on as a foster. It is a decision that breaks my heart and I still want to cry when I think of those big brown eyes staring and me and giving me kisses in his final moments.</span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"></span><br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqUUF-DIWeA44Z4QB222LWGTZRXQ7ZjRGoHO83BV6-zQkNLvOWm52ZNQhzekPb1OTME2KudvMh2BuLcZKw_mB5XX0A7aNRLdA2lhIUmY4ZrsKQhvzGASDtF6fEV1erKEIno7XBHXYI1j5w/s1600/b4.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqUUF-DIWeA44Z4QB222LWGTZRXQ7ZjRGoHO83BV6-zQkNLvOWm52ZNQhzekPb1OTME2KudvMh2BuLcZKw_mB5XX0A7aNRLdA2lhIUmY4ZrsKQhvzGASDtF6fEV1erKEIno7XBHXYI1j5w/s320/b4.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You can see all the mats and hot spots</td></tr>
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<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">Over the Labor Day weekend I was asked to pick up a dog from Corpus Christi that was being turned in by their owners. They had a heartbreaking story that resulted in them loosing their home and having to give up their pets. It was a sad situation as they were using an electrical cord as a make-shift leash. The dog was in sad shape, with an ear infection, in desperate need of grooming and had hot spots, from what I could see. </span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"></span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">The oldest daughter was 14 and just sobbed and didn't want to give up the dog. I think we spent more time waiting for her to give him up than it took to fill out all the paperwork. As soon as I thought we could get him in the crate, she would just hug him tighter and pleading with her mom to not let go of the dog, to let her keep it. I promised her then and there that we would find a great home for this dog and he would have his happily ever after. That is what this rescue does, we find great homes.</span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"></span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"></span><span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">How I failed. </span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"></span><br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAQ_VNPZHapnt5p2EkgP3C1Eqf7hQmkZcE1ro7ef-A_IaAcWStGKdrSN3XJTv6XqkQqukQSvzAT5AnQBPbbbeGyTgbeqggiAD2VW8YA07F_I8TTgAJfIHgvOTDVDehbhXmZkJuJfRrCMVk/s1600/B1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAQ_VNPZHapnt5p2EkgP3C1Eqf7hQmkZcE1ro7ef-A_IaAcWStGKdrSN3XJTv6XqkQqukQSvzAT5AnQBPbbbeGyTgbeqggiAD2VW8YA07F_I8TTgAJfIHgvOTDVDehbhXmZkJuJfRrCMVk/s320/B1.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sitting patiently having the mats cut off.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">I had Bentley the first week after picking him up. That Monday, I did a hack job on him trying to cut off the mats. He was such a trooper and while he didn't want me near his ear (for good reason) he never got snippy with me. The next day he was ushered to the vets to be checked and get treated for his raging ear infection. Outside of the ear infection, he was in good healthy. Thursday was a trip to the groomers to clean up my clipping. The poor guy was so scared by that point that I had to call for him when I picked him up, he did not want to come out of the crates in the back at Petco. </span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"></span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">I sent as much information to the rescue team as I could about him and they continued to work to find him a foster home. One was found and I met the new foster family that Friday. Unfortunately by Saturday evening, he had bit one child twice and attempted to bite another adult. So, Sunday he was back in my home.</span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"></span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">No, he was not one of the dogs that made the trip back to Nebraska with me. I knew he was still too unsettled and given the number of children that would be around, I did not want to take the chance or stress him more, so he was kenneled at the vets office. </span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_v9RMdwhMwyknFSzY_NuKRL3C76xWmiS2kkNYdYdFowPYqzwH12P0pRwa4MaE0ONPS6GQg2CnPdRrPCiQGLmwbQT68nAoxQmRaDanRzNKpRFuMfJGB1CgVOIchHzXVQDL8u1rxGbSZ0dL/s1600/b3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_v9RMdwhMwyknFSzY_NuKRL3C76xWmiS2kkNYdYdFowPYqzwH12P0pRwa4MaE0ONPS6GQg2CnPdRrPCiQGLmwbQT68nAoxQmRaDanRzNKpRFuMfJGB1CgVOIchHzXVQDL8u1rxGbSZ0dL/s320/b3.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The happy dog</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">90% of the time, he was such a great dog. He was eager to please, enjoyed his walks and wanted to snuggle. The other 10%, you just did not know what he was going to do. I doubt that he was ever trained. I had to work with him on treats, the first week I thought I was going to loose a finger, but by the end, he was getting more careful with each piece. He created a fear that he would bite you if he didn't want to do what he was instructed to do. If I grabbed him by the collar, his first reaction was almost always turning to try and bite. He bit me once when I was trying to pick up Guinness food bowl out of her crate, that he had claimed at that moment.</span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"></span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">Because of this, he was not considered adoptable by the rescue president. I understand and know it was best for him. I would not want a child or someone else to be seriously hurt if they were bit by him. But, it was so painfully hard to do. It was almost as if he knew and was pleading with me.</span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"></span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">Friday night he was extra cuddly and spent most of the evening on the couch with me. When I told him it was time for bed, he went to his crate, no issues. Saturday morning he just followed me around and would lay in whatever room I happened to be. </span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"></span><br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZPL75cLbqf1WMq4We99uTRnIUSRdG2GoybkRoa_WE7CEyveOqovHZaKM6ptsBjomsUz6445wiS4LMWCOkJukpQSCP4gtPj2aMdq2YEutxmYUwbS9P9DZ3HOVlPVKVsjrRT96KASugWxEC/s1600/b2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZPL75cLbqf1WMq4We99uTRnIUSRdG2GoybkRoa_WE7CEyveOqovHZaKM6ptsBjomsUz6445wiS4LMWCOkJukpQSCP4gtPj2aMdq2YEutxmYUwbS9P9DZ3HOVlPVKVsjrRT96KASugWxEC/s320/b2.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My last picture of him. Waiting for the vet.</td></tr>
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<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">Saturday, I took at dog that was so excited to go for a car ride and was nothing but tail wags and put him to forever sleep. I stayed with him through the end with some last kisses from him and those big brown eyes forever staring at me. As with all fosters, I opened my home and heart to him. </span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"></span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">I</span><span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"> hope that he forgives me for the failed promise of happily ever after with a new family. </span><span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">I hope if the family ever learns of what came of him, they too will forgive me.</span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"></span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">Maybe my heart is not cut out to be a foster mom.</span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"></span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">RIP sweet buddy.</span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"></span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"></span>schmitball13http://www.blogger.com/profile/02944325458699567335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1133918097607192178.post-69468080179398388632013-07-17T22:15:00.002-05:002013-07-17T22:15:56.964-05:00Cooler than the flip sideUncle Kracker sings it best in his song "Smile". <strong>ATM</strong> just makes me smile.<br />
<br />
Honestly I really was not sure when he came along if I was ready to date. <strong>NoDIY</strong> really soured the grapes of dating. I had turned back on an online profile that I had but had not done anything with it and really was on the fence about if I wanted to even be on there. But, then he messaged me and he seemed too perfect and I thought, maybe? At worst, I would lose two hours of my life, to never get back? It could not hurt, could it?<br />
<br />
Well, as they would say, the rest has been history...so far. He has been the well kept secret to a certain degree. I mean we have dated for four months now and he is just now making the blog...that is a pretty good secret.<br />
<br />
For our first meeting/date, we went to a wine bar and had a couple of glasses of wine and just talked. I should point out that I was way under dressed compared to the suit he was sporting, as he had come straight from work. I will say that it was my first experience having someone pull a chair out for me, in a good way. After the wine, we walked across the street to a Louisiana cafe for some Cajun. We shared some appetizers and just talked the night away. It felt like we were there for hours but do not think it was more than two hours.<br />
<br />
He is one of four boys and grew up in Philadelphia. Both of his parents and a brother have passed and for different reasons does not have much contact with his other two brothers. It truly is probably the one thing that is completely different in our lives. He played five years of minor league baseball. Part of his contract allowed him a free education so he made the most of it! After the minor league baseball came a stint on the pro golf circuit. No idea how one manages that since the swings are completely different but who am I to judge. He is now in the real world with the rest us and working the ranks up in the banking world, hence the name <strong>ATM</strong>. He is a church man and attends services weekly at St. David's Episcopal Church. I have never been but hear it is not a far cry from the Catholic world.<br />
<br />
Since he started with Texas Star Bank a few months ago, the time that we do get to spend together is not as much as I would like but at the same time, so absolutely enjoy the realm of just dating and taking things as they come. No matter how much time we have together, or what we do, we always have a good time and end up laughing. Dates have ranged from brunch on Sunday's after we both go to Church to running errands that we have to going to this little dive bar to have drinks and watch the old & the young dance.<br />
<br />
I truly have went 360 with <strong>ATM</strong> from where I was. I have a true gentleman that opens doors, pulls out chairs, carries the shopping bags (I really want to test how far he'll go on this one) and orders for me. He works hard and is passionate about his career. He has a faith and practices it. He has his own place and a dog. He does not feel it is necessary to drink all the time and alcohol does not consume the relationship. (This makes Momma Bear happy). <br />
Although there is one qwirk I hope someone can explain...I still do not understand the concept of why I have to walk to the inside of him on sidewalks, etc. I guess it's so he gets hit first? But he is pretty insistent on it, so I just go with the flow and learn to give up some of that independence. <br />
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He definitely has been the positive I have needed in my life and the rock that has helped me with the tough times we have gone through with my little brother. He has been stead fast and has not made a run for the hills when <strong>NoDIY</strong> went crazy, instead asked if I needed anything. It's easy to say I am truly blessed for him entering my life and he makes me happy.<br />
<br />
<br />
"Don't know how I lived without you<br />
'Cuz every time that I get around you<br />
I see the best of me inside your eyes<br />
You make me smile<br />
You make me dance like a fool<br />
Forget how to breathe<br />
Shine like the gold<br />
Buzz like a bee<br />
Just the though of you can drive me wild<br />
<br />
Oh, you make me smile"<br />
schmitball13http://www.blogger.com/profile/02944325458699567335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1133918097607192178.post-79487614271344938572013-07-04T11:56:00.000-05:002013-07-04T11:56:17.897-05:00Independence DayThey always say it is out with the old to make room for the new.<br />
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Well, I don't think there could be a more fitting day to blog about the old so I can start sharing things about life with the new.<br />
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Oh <sigh>, <strong>NODIY</strong>. Where does one begin. Honestly, until September of last year, things were good. We had our ups and downs but overall, things were good. Of course, I had some pretty thick blinders on but what did I know.</sigh><br />
<br />
Our trip back to Nebraska in September was not what I had ever hoped for or imagined. At that point in life, I imagined a future with him. But, you take two alpha males, stir in a lot of booze and how quickly can things get so ugly so fast. Things were said, people became offended and punches were thrown. It was the beginning of a long end.<br />
<br />
<strong>NODIY</strong> headed back to St. Louis to finish up his job in the wee hours of that following Monday morning. It was a job that continued to drag on and on and on. Of course, through the course of things, I some how was the one that was to blame. I don't know how or why but that was his thinking. I was suffering from Bells Palsy and he wanted to do nothing to do with me. He wouldn't take my calls, rarely answered texts, it was a mess. I was trapped in limbo of not knowing if we were going to have a future or if we were.<br />
<br />
Eventually he made his way back home mid-December. Ironically he came home without a dime in his pocket from a job that he lived at his sister's house to do. He also didn't send a dime my way during that time either. But when you live together, you at least have to try, or so I thought. That was what relationships that were meant to last do, if the going gets tough, you work at it.<br />
<br />
By the end of January, things had not improved at all. His mom, niece and great niece came for a visit to help him with his business taxes. Ironically he was too busy with work, aka sitting on the back porch smoking cigarettes and talking on the phone, to help with anything. I, on the other hand, was working 8+ days and coming home to cooking dinner, watching the baby and entertaining. The last night of the visit we were laying in bed and he just blew up at me about how dirty the house was and how embarrassing it was that his mom had to clean and how rude I was to them. I went to the couch and he came out and started yelling at me in full ear shot of his family. I was done.<br />
<br />
The next day was the Super Bowl and he thankfully he left. I knew things were done and he just needed to move out. I was treated to him coming home at 3:30 in the morning and him feeling the need to wake me up in his drunk state. It started with we need to fix things to quickly turning to how terrible I was, my family was, blah, blah, blah when he didn't get the answers he wanted. I was finally able to get him out of the room and lock the door but it didn't slow him down. Threatening me, threatening the family, the list went on. I just wanted sleep and I also knew that calling the police would have made matters that much worse. Eventually I fell back asleep around 6 am.<br />
<br />
The following day was made making calls. Sadly he was a squatter ($500 in 6 months for bills) and he had rights. I had to give him 30 days notice to vacate before I could evict. Pretty sad in my mind but not much I could do. So, that evening, I kindly served him his eviction notice. He had 30 days to get out.<br />
<br />
It was the longest 30 days of my life. I was treated to at least a couple more nights like the Super Bowl night as clearly he forgot I was the one that worked a real job. I knew things were done and how different we really were. He was LAZY to a new level. He could have made great money at what he did if he started a day before 9 or 10 in the morning and actual did work. My family will tell you the horror stories of how he left me mow the lawn in my walking boot while he relaxed...he was tired from working so hard. Clearly by the end of the 30 days, I was done and wanted him out and wanted to move on.<br />
<br />
Of course, he was not going to make it easy. With a day left in his 30 days, he was showing no signs of moving out. So, I did what I had to do and went crazy on him. I started the texting early in the morning and by noon, he was packing his crap to move out. It's amazing how much 'stuff' he had that was of no value. So much stuff he needed a U-haul. By 7 pm, 4 pick up truck loads and a U-Haul later, he had his stuff out. I cried and mourned the good parts of the relationship that we had. <br />
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I wish that was where things ended but they didn't. He continued to show crazy colors. He still had a few things that needed to be picked up. He showed up at 10:30 at night, full knowing I was in bed threatening me with mail fraud because I had a stack of his mail. I just wanted done, so I opened the garage door and started hucking into the driveway the shit that remained. After it was out, I told him to leave and never contact me again. Then he had the nerve to ask if he could come inside to see the dogs. Go to Hell were my words. Two weeks after coming back to get the last of his stuff, he started texting me and telling me what a terrible person I was, how fat I was, how he had some hot new girlfriend and they were in love and going to get married and have kids, blah, blah blah. I kept asking him to stop, he wouldn't and well now I have a new cell number and know I will never hear from him again. <br />
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The funny part of the whole story is my Hispanic neighbor asked me where he went. I told him we were done and he was gone for good. If he ever saw him near the house, call the police. He then proceeds to tell me how he told his wife that one month of him moving in, he knew we wouldn't last. He said "They no last". She told him that was nice. He said, "Look at her garage...before he move in...meticulous...he move in, stuff, crap everywhere. You can't walk through it. They no last."<br />
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The Thursday after he moved out, March 14th, a new chapter began with ATM.<br />
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Here is to Independence Day, to a day where we celebrate Freedom, I celebrate Freedom with <strong>NoDIY</strong> and the new found Freedom I have with <strong>ATM</strong>.schmitball13http://www.blogger.com/profile/02944325458699567335noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1133918097607192178.post-21661495974585369102013-07-01T18:53:00.003-05:002013-07-01T18:53:35.471-05:00Addiction“The mentality and behavior of drug addicts and alcoholics is wholly irrational until you understand that they are completely powerless over their addiction and unless they have structured help, they have no hope.” <br />
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I write today's entry with a heavy heart. However, I write today's entry so you know the whole story. The rumors and the judgments make it so much more difficult. At this time all we ask is for prayers that the help is taken and comfort to the rest of us. </div>
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On Friday, June 28 the family made a decision that forever changed our lives and the life of our little brother. It was by no means an easy decision and one that was done with a forever heavy heart. </div>
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As most know, or have assumed, Junior was a drug addict. He has been one since his high school years. To what level, I don't think any of us really know or probably will never get a truthful answer to. We know there was the obvious marijuana, but we also know there was at least cocaine and prescription pain pills of oxycontin. Of course, with the drugs came the poor choices and bad decisions that also resulted in the 3 DUI convictions. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnLguuoinWIktWoRA3KD7NoPv3BTkuHvcSV5AKSPgSgMFO_bq4qaFZJlr8YbSw8E_AxoIIzmfmN5uuRPyGjeRjaBHAh2z2-JZF1-EroWReiONStcdVSEqiUTrkEbbh_F0d-ZM_8R3Tu2j_/s1600/brothers.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" oya="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnLguuoinWIktWoRA3KD7NoPv3BTkuHvcSV5AKSPgSgMFO_bq4qaFZJlr8YbSw8E_AxoIIzmfmN5uuRPyGjeRjaBHAh2z2-JZF1-EroWReiONStcdVSEqiUTrkEbbh_F0d-ZM_8R3Tu2j_/s320/brothers.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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It's so hard to write this. I still remember that sweet innocent little brother that use to come visit me in college. He was such a chatter box and some days I wish he would just be quiet on those drives to Hastings. Everyone loved having him around, I was proud to have him visit. <br />
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To some level, I realize today that I mourn the loss of my baby brother. That loving kid has been gone for quiet some time. He really didn't talk to anyone much because I think he was just too high to do so. It breaks my heart because the last visit home in April, he said some pretty hateful things to me. Of course, I realize that it was the drugs talking but also hope that is not the last time I ever hear from him. He might be so angry at us that it just might.<br />
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Sadly, the drugs really took hold of him this year. He was no longer any semblance of a brother or son that we knew. As most know, he was not at sausage making this year. What you do not know is that he spent that weekend ransacking my parents and brother's homes looking for any kind of pain pill. My visit at Easter was hard in that it was the first that light was being shed on the level of addiction he now was at. He was stealing things from the house and pawning them for drugs. He was stealing checks and using credit cards without permission. He no longer cared who he was hurting, he just wanted a fix. <br />
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Of course, we confronted him. I will not say it was an all out intervention. The fence was split on what to do. On one hand, you wanted him to be the brother & son you loved, you wanted to trust that he would get help. On the other, you feared that he would just keep stealing and hurting those that he loved the most, just for a fix. <br />
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On Friday, June 28, we learned that the drugs were still winning. One of his friends called us concerned because he was so "hopped up on pills, he kept falling asleep trying to light a cigarette." We then realized the stealing had continued. The amount of money that was stolen this year through checks and credit cards makes me sick to my stomach. I just do not get how you can do that to your own family. Let's just say that what was taken in two months, most would say you were half way home to a good salary for the year. He was in way deep. He had found a "friend" that would run the credit card numbers for purchase and a lot extra and give him the cash. It was easily $200 a day. How did one not know? It was way too easy for him. He lived at home and could intercepts the bills. <br />
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Through the course of everything, we learned that there was a warrant for his arrest for him not completing the probation for his 3rd DUI. On that Friday, we all agreed that the best place for him to be was in jail. A place where he can get clean and hopefully get treatment for his addiction. <br />
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So on Friday evening, the Lancaster Sheriffs office was contacted to notify them of his location for the warrant. The Sheriffs office was very considerate of my parents and wanted to try and make sure that the arrest did not happen at their home. Unfortunately due to another call, they missed him coming home. So, around 5 am, the deputy handling the case was contacted and shortly thereafter, 4 deputies arrived at my parents home to take the shell of a brother and son away. </div>
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It is and has been the hardest decision a family would ever have to make. A decision you hope that you never would have to see in your life time for either yourself or anyone close to you. There is never a moment in life that it is easy to have your son or brother arrested. We pray that the decision that was made was one that will save his life and that maybe one day we will have that son and brother back. </div>
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Obviously at the time I write this, we do not know how long he will be there but we hope that it is for a good while and that he can get his life back on track. I share this today to spare my family some of the questions of what happened and why he will not be at my parents anniversary. You can never understand the level of hurt and pain this has caused all of us. </div>
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My brother faces a lifelong fight. A fight that I believe I speak for all of us in that we will embrace him and help him if he can stay clear of the drugs, stealing and lies. </div>
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We just ask that you pray for my brother that he embraces his addiction and is willing to accept the treatment for it. We ask you to pray that he will be able to walk a sober life the rest of his days. We ask that you pray that he can forgive us and some day love us for the decision we made. We ask that you pray for our family, we all hurt and all grieve in our own ways for that brother and son that has been missing for so long. We finally ask that you respect our privacy as we try and make sense of all of this and we mourn the loss of a brother and son we may never get back. </div>
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For now, though, he is in a place that he cannot get his next fix and maybe one day thank us for making the decision that saved his life. </div>
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schmitball13http://www.blogger.com/profile/02944325458699567335noreply@blogger.com1