So never truer words have ever been spoken.
If you would have asked me 3 months ago, I would have told you I was going to be blogging about how I was finally done with my classes, classes to become certified to be a foster parent. That was my plan going into the summer. That is what I had been preparing for most of 2017. A new day bed for the bedroom. A pack and play just in case they are younger. Fire extinguishers. Getting the big renovations done with the house. Start classes for certification. All the balls were in play. I was going to do this. I was going to fulfill my life dream of having a child my own way.
It was finally happening.
In an instant, it all changed. My life changed. This blog post is not about fostering or adopting or fire extinguishers or a daybed or pack and play, those items are still there but something that is on hold. How long is still unknown.
Life changed. Now it is about how much dog food does one need for 6 months? Who can take care of my lawn? How will I clean my house? If I am able to work remote and split time between work and the office, how do I transport my laptop? How will I get to work? How do I afford all of the things I am used to doing on my own now that I have to pay for it?
Yes, the planner in me goes there. The independent me goes there. The 'I don't want to ask for help' me goes there. This is where I go when I am faced with the words I don't want to hear. The worst case scenario that I was told I should not brace myself for because I should not expect the worst.
But deep down, I knew I was going to hear it. I mean, I can still count on one hand the number of days I have been pain free since September 5th. The dogs are blessed to get a 1/2 mile walk in around the circle. No more long walks, no more bike rides. Mowing the yard requires breaks for my body to rest and then it still hates me. I hate the pain pills and the muscles relaxers and would rather be in pain. I mean first there is the addiction that is a middle name to our family. Then there is the fact that IF I can take them by 8:30 pm, I still am on the struggle bus at 6:00 am getting out of bed.
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In an instant, life changed. I was almost to work on September 5th, going in a little late that day. First day back from vacation will do that to you. It was a clear reminder that morning why I go in at 7 am, traffic at 8 am stinks. I almost made it to work. 1 mile left in my commute. I was sitting at a red light minding my own business because traffic was backed up.
No idea what HE was doing or what HE was looking at but I am thankful that I didn't see that HE was coming. HE just was everything Texas and everything about Trucks. I went from minding my own business to realizing I just was hit from behind.___________
1-level anterior cervical fusion and discectomy at C5-6. ACFD. They say it like it is easy and just no big deal. Just two months in a cone of shame as I call it, they call it a neck brace. Just 6 months of significant life suck or life style changes as they call it. So far I am 2 for 2 on doctors and the same opinion, I need surgery.
In a blink, things never will be the same...
