Tuesday, October 26, 2010

A little bit of this, a little bit of that...

Do you ever wonder where time goes?  I am really beginning to wonder this sometimes.  Maybe that is why I feel scatter-brained - I am losing track of time and things.  Maybe I really am being abducted by ailens and I just don't know it.  Just Kidding.

So two weeks have gone by.  Well, let's see work - well it is there.  I still haven't made any decisions on what to do for my job.  So, I am learning to tell people nicely that I am willing to assist them and not interested in listening to them bitch.  (Maybe that is the glass half full coming through?)  I just don't think year end is the time to look for a job so we will see what happens after the first of the year.  Lowe's well it is there, kind of.  Honestly I have only worked two days out of the past two weeks and I am really okay with that.  I took a weekend off in the event we would of road tripped to Nebraska for the Texas game, which I am thankful we didn't.  Then this past weekend Big Country and his family came for a stay.  I think that I was running so much I didn't realize I was even off from there.

Big Country's visit was fabulous and I think they really had a nice time.  They got to my house pretty late on Friday so we just stayed up chatting until 1ish which is late for me.  Of course, being kids, I was greated with an "Aunt Jenn" way early in the morning (before 8) and wasn't prepared for it.  The same happened the next day in that they wanted me to walk the dogs....ugh no.  I gave them the scenic drive down Capital of Texas, headed to the original Salt Lick, took in the outlet mall, a few beers at Doc's on South Congress, saw the bats take flight and dinner at the Hula Hut.  Folks - that was all on Saturday...no wonder why I was tuckered out on Sunday!

As for the positive habits, yesterday was a good day.  It was Day one of change.  It was also a reminder of how I need to slow down and pay attention to the little details too!

Here is my summary for the positive habits:

Starting Weight (10/25):  187.7
Eating - Great.  Day 3 of no doughnuts!  Whoop!  I even had Multi-grain Cheerios and journaled EVERYTHING!  I went over in points but it is so much better than where I had been!
Exercise - 2 miles - 30 minutes.  It doesn't sound great but I was walking Guinness and she is the two poops on a walk kind of dog and you have to find "the spot" and circle a few times.  Plus some of the kids out on bikes had to say hi.
Cleaning - Does watering the lawn count?  Heaven knows I need either the rain gods to show or the money gods to show for underground sprinklers. 
Money - Okay.  I did splurge for Wing Stop but it was within my $ and I did journal it in my food.  Plus, I was able to avoid a crisis this morning discovered last night.  It is the little details.  I had thought I mailed my water bill in but then recieved the letter they hadn't received it and then forgot about it.  I remember last night before bed.  The deadline - 5 pm yesterday.  I have the worst water company in the world in that if you are 15 days late with payment - they shut your water off.  I have no idea why a deposit was required because it does nothing.  You can't pay by phone, or by the internet so I was just screwed, or so I thought.  So, after a few calls, I was able to get a hold of someone normal and they took my payment for last month and the bill I just received and helped me set up auto pay from my checking so I am good until December when the auto pay kicks in!  No more panicing on this every again.  Amen! 

So that being said, Day 2 of 21 days to a habit is off to a good start!  Both money & food wise!  Check back tomorrow for more.  :)

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

A new day, a new week, a new start

Wow - what a week.  It definitely has had its highs and lows but as always, I trudge through. 

So work, what do I say - the problem is still there and nothing really has changed.  But what I do about it, well the jury is still out on it.  Its a catch 22, do you look for the job and find the job that the grass is greener on the other side?  Or do you keep going and hope things get better.  Right now I have a great boss that is supportive of things and pretty much allows you to come and go as you need.  But would a new job have that same luxury?  Is it worth that chance?  Plus, in January I get that extra week of vacation.  Is it worth starting over there again?  Definitely not a decision that will be made any time soon.  I mean, let's be real, my resume is still from when I got the job in 2007, so some work would need to be done. I keep on, keepin on.

As for the 21 day challenge, well I needed to get my mind right.  Last week just wasn't it.  This week is better and I think I am ready to make that commitment tomorrow.  But, that doesn't mean that I have gone hog wild on food or anything like that.  I have been good about things.  Plus, Monday & Wednesday I stopped at Town Lake on my way home.  I did my 3 mile loop doing the couch to 5k progam.  My goal is to make this stop at least twice a week.  If anything - I get my workout in and the eye candy is nice.  :)  Plus, when I get home, the dogs are still getting a 1 1/2 mile walk.  So, 4 1/2 miles twice this week - well not too shabby.  I think I am moving in the right direction.

Now, tomorrow, I am trying something new and hopeful that maybe this can help relieve some of my pain.  My left heel/ankle is bothering me again - yes the one I spent 3 months in a walking boot with.  Then for good measure, the other hip is hurting me and it is starting to run down my leg.  Then there is the stress in my shoulders.  I think a razor blade might be a good description.  Or if you flick the muscle, it would snap.

This week we had a health fair.  So, one of the things they had you do is stand on this machine to see where you bear your weight.  So, when the lady asked me if I have ever had heel pain, I wasn't shocked.  Apparently a normal person carries their weight evenly on the balls of your feet and your heels.  Yep, mine is carried all on the heels and the outside of the feet.  Then for fun, I was shown how off kilter my spine really is.  So, tomorrow I am going for a free consultant with a chiropractor.  I am interested in hear what he has to say.  I told him my concern is the discs I already had surgery on and messing with them.  He has promised he only works on problem areas and helps stregthen the muscles where need be.  At this point - doesn't hurt to look into it if it makes me feel better.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

A Crossroads

Well, the 21 day challenge is beginning today. The past few days have been an upside down kind of day and I just couldn't focus on anything, let alone what I was eating, what I was doing with anything.

First off, let me say that I wish I wasn't such a girl and cry when my emotions get the best of me. Boy is that what happened yesterday and I just couldn't shut them off. I still probably could cry about it. Really at the end of the day, it is going to require a decision, a huge decision and I just ask for prayers that, at the end of the day, it is the right decision for me.

I know WTF am I talking about - right.

Well, since I graduated from college in 1997, I have had a job with an Insurance company. Now granted, my job has always evolved and today I am removed from my account degree but I still work for an insurance company. After spending 5 years working in Internal Audit, I transitioned over to the IT world. So for Ameritas, I did a little bit of everything. Troubleshooting computers, working with phone and internet providers, Quality Assurance for a database, working in a contact management system, and the list goes on. I loved what I did, just not the boss I worked for.

Well, transition to my job at NFP. I was hired as an Administrator for our insurance database that allows offices to keep track of their clients, policies, etc. Well, with the recession, my job transitioned to a new department. Instead of being aligned directly with the Insurance Channel, I was moved over to the Technology umbrella. At the end of the day, I was suppose to support the database but was now being required to support about 20 other applications. For the past three years, in this new role, the time that was devoted to the database has become less and less. In a nutshell, every time something came up, the response was J has the bandwidth and the database got shoved a little farther off my table.

This year, my job has just sucked, no sugar coating it. One of the business channels forced their members to use encryption software. Imagine coordinating this new service for 450 offices, which almost all of them have a different email service provider. Sucked. Of course, people are mad about being forced to use it and guess who leads it because they had the bandwidth - yep me. So, now a huge part of my day is spent resetting passwords to open secure emails, opening tickets to determine why an email was caught as Spam, etc. It sucks.

Then, in July, we changed our log in process to be similar to banks, a dual authentication code log in process. Of course, up to this point, we never really enforced if a reps assistant called to reset their reps log in information - now we suddenly are. The people in the field struggle with it and constantly lock themselves out of the password and security questions. And they yell. And they scream. And they hang up. And their mad because they can’t do it for their rep. Guess who also leads this because they have the bandwidth? Yep, me.

So, in four years, I have gone from being a consultant, providing training, working with offices on a database to having my job digress to something I don't need a degree to do and consistently have people yell at me. The light at the end of the table was that at least part of the database was still on my table and there was hope that things would become more involved with it in the next six months. So, yesterday, it was shoved so far that it is just barely clinging to my table.

I spent probably close to an hour and a half in the boss' office on it. Of course, I cried about it, and cried and sniffled some more. It just sucks. The part of my job that I loved best will no doubt fall completely off in the next year. Oh my boss appreciates me and understands that I am capable of much more. But, he doesn't see it changing for what I am doing for the next three months. Then, basically I will get assigned the tasks and jobs he doesn't have time for on a day to day basis. Fanfuckentabulous. So, do I start looking? Do I accept the job for what it is and stick with it and just accept that I am 100% technology? Do I go down kicking & screaming on this database? Am I willing to go back to school so I can understand the technical side of life? Or is this God's way of saying become a teacher? Do I move back to Nebraska because at the end of the day, it was the job that kept me here?

If God could just good just let me see my future in a dream so I know what to do, that would be really great.  So, at this point, I can just ask for Prayers that I make the right choice in the cross-roads.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

And so we begin....AGAIN

Well, it was Day 5, 6, & 7 that resulted in a crash.  Of course yesterday wasn't any better and this morning started off just as equally as bad!  So - we begin again - Day 1!

It was and continues to be the food that is the issue.  The money, everything else is going well!  So, starting at 10:25 am, I am making a change for the better of me.

So - my horrible breakfast included my damn three doughnuts and string cheese.  However, that is the end.  The rest of the day will be good and tomorrow is going to be better.  As for exercise - I am going to have to find something different than the Self workout that I have been doing.  Since doing the jumping rope and jumping jacks, my knees have been killing me.  Last night, it took everything I had to just finish the walk.  So, obviously that isn't going to work. 

I'll be back later today for the final update of Day 1.

For the record, since I am putting this all out there, starting weight 187.0.  :(

Friday, October 1, 2010

Day 4....Damn You Doughnuts

Yes, the doughnuts won the battle again.  I woke horrible stuffy and had to stop at the grocery to get something to wipe the sinus headache.  Of course, while I was there - why not get 3 doughtnuts.  Ugggh!  The rest of the day wasn't too bad.  Lunch we ordered from FreeBirds.  Nothing like a freedom salad loaded with Jalepenos to clean out the sinus'.  Supper, it had to be quick so I went with a bowl of cereal.  Not the best choice but it would have to do. 

For exercise I was suppose to do a 30 minute training session on the on demand Fit TV.  Of course, I don't have it, so that was out.  So, instead I did a quick mile and a half walk with the dogs before I headed to softball.  I was wiped when I got home so I need to go back and do the strength training some time this weekend to make that piece up.

Here is my summary for the positive habits:

Eating - Good execept for them pesky doughnuts
Exercise - 1 1/2 miles, and 50 minutes of softball
Cleaning - Did a little vacuuming (can I say I love this thing!) and two loads of laundry
Money - Good, outside of the morning doughtnuts, I paid my $30 for softball and paid some bills.

My other note is that me and my HOA are really going to go to battle.  I got a certified letter because my garbage can was in front of my garage.  What a joke considering the neighbors behind me haven't mowed since I submitted my last complaint.

And yes, to be consistent, I can already tell you, damn you doughnuts.  I threw in the towel and just went for them today with a clean start tomorrow.  :)