Why is it that when you have a rough day, go to bed early and you still wake up feeling like you never slept? I was in bed early, finished reading a book and then turned out the lights early. When the alarm went off at 5:15 for me to go running - it didn't happen and I shut it off. If it hadn't been for Finn whinning to go out - I might still be in bed but instead - I was just late since it was 6:24 am when he was whinning. Of course, I just feel tired and lethargic and of course am in no mood to put up with any crap from anyone. Poor guy - don't call and bitch at me for the first 5 minutes and expect attitude back. My favorite was when he told me not to treat him like a 3rd Grader but then procceeds to say "What Next?" when it prompts him for his name and email address. Wasn't it in the 1st grade when they taught us to write our name next to the Name: ?
I suppose there is hope for tomorrow.
Showing posts with label Work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Work. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Friday, May 27, 2011
Blogging Project Day 12 - Your earliest memory
Hmmm - okay well I have a few early memories from my times back in the big town of Monroe, NE.
For whatever reason, one of my memories is that I always had dreams that the Incredible Hulk was coming down the country road and he was going to get me. He was always green and angry. I only lived there until I was 5 and really, I don't even know - was The Incredible Hulk on in 1978?
Of course, my true memory was with my dad and softball. For some reason, I think that I was around 3 at the time and only know that because of what I was probably told. In any event, my dad played fast pitch on the local men's town team in Platte Center. My memory is vague but I think he had a broken ankle or something at the time. I think he even might have been on crutches at the time.
In any event, we headed to the Polish Pub (I don't know what it was called then), aka the bar. I remember at some point my dad asking me if I was ready to go home. I recall that I was having fun playing with my friends and wasn't ready to go home and told him that. Who asks this question of a child? Especially one under the age of 5? All I know is that I remember when I finally got tired and told him I was ready to go home, he told me I had my chance; he wasn’t ready to go now. I was stuck.
I do believe this story might have two different morals to it. One, if you are given a chance for leaving, take it because you might never get it again. Two, pushing a few chairs together makes a wonderful interim bed, so long as your parents know where you are. Why is that important? Years later at my Cousin Russ' wedding, I made use of the stack of chairs for an early bed time, unfortunately nobody knew where I was and I was temporarily "lost". Who says Schmidt's are not resourceful at an early age?
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Life Note - Life is so much better than it was earlier in the week. My attitude it just to embrace it, love it and roll with it. Everything will always work itself out in God's time and well that has been happening this week. I got to catch up with Vanilla Horndog earlier in the week. As I was telling HairDresser last night, he is my perfect match, has those qualities that I would look for and he is someone I truly have respect for. However, his priorities right now are his two girls, which he has full custody of his 14 year old and a 50/50 of his 5 year old. The timing sucks and I don't know if and when the timing will ever be there. But as wise HairDresser reminds me, timing is just that, it will work out in the end if it is meant to. So, in the mean time, I am rolling with it and no regrets.
I also have declared this good news Friday. So far some things I have been waiting on have been popping up (in God’s time). So, I hope that they work out and in the end I will be in a much better place. Please say your prayers!
BTW - if you are reading this via email and wonder who Vanilla Horndog or HairDresser is, I have a new tab called "My Peeps" on the blog. I am trying to summarize all of these nicknames so you can keep track of them. As my wise momma points out, I have gone out with so many guys recently; it is hard to keep track of which is which. Hugs & Luv....have a great Holiday Weekend Y'all! Hopefully my liver doesn't hate me by Monday!
For whatever reason, one of my memories is that I always had dreams that the Incredible Hulk was coming down the country road and he was going to get me. He was always green and angry. I only lived there until I was 5 and really, I don't even know - was The Incredible Hulk on in 1978?
Of course, my true memory was with my dad and softball. For some reason, I think that I was around 3 at the time and only know that because of what I was probably told. In any event, my dad played fast pitch on the local men's town team in Platte Center. My memory is vague but I think he had a broken ankle or something at the time. I think he even might have been on crutches at the time.
In any event, we headed to the Polish Pub (I don't know what it was called then), aka the bar. I remember at some point my dad asking me if I was ready to go home. I recall that I was having fun playing with my friends and wasn't ready to go home and told him that. Who asks this question of a child? Especially one under the age of 5? All I know is that I remember when I finally got tired and told him I was ready to go home, he told me I had my chance; he wasn’t ready to go now. I was stuck.
I do believe this story might have two different morals to it. One, if you are given a chance for leaving, take it because you might never get it again. Two, pushing a few chairs together makes a wonderful interim bed, so long as your parents know where you are. Why is that important? Years later at my Cousin Russ' wedding, I made use of the stack of chairs for an early bed time, unfortunately nobody knew where I was and I was temporarily "lost". Who says Schmidt's are not resourceful at an early age?
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Life Note - Life is so much better than it was earlier in the week. My attitude it just to embrace it, love it and roll with it. Everything will always work itself out in God's time and well that has been happening this week. I got to catch up with Vanilla Horndog earlier in the week. As I was telling HairDresser last night, he is my perfect match, has those qualities that I would look for and he is someone I truly have respect for. However, his priorities right now are his two girls, which he has full custody of his 14 year old and a 50/50 of his 5 year old. The timing sucks and I don't know if and when the timing will ever be there. But as wise HairDresser reminds me, timing is just that, it will work out in the end if it is meant to. So, in the mean time, I am rolling with it and no regrets.
I also have declared this good news Friday. So far some things I have been waiting on have been popping up (in God’s time). So, I hope that they work out and in the end I will be in a much better place. Please say your prayers!
BTW - if you are reading this via email and wonder who Vanilla Horndog or HairDresser is, I have a new tab called "My Peeps" on the blog. I am trying to summarize all of these nicknames so you can keep track of them. As my wise momma points out, I have gone out with so many guys recently; it is hard to keep track of which is which. Hugs & Luv....have a great Holiday Weekend Y'all! Hopefully my liver doesn't hate me by Monday!
Monday, May 23, 2011
Treading Water
That is where I am right now, just treading water and waiting for the seas to calm down.
Work just has me bummed right now so doing much of anything else just since unimportant and trivial. I haven't been sleeping well at night so it leaves me less inclined to do much of anything else. Sunday was a day off for me from Lowe's. Guess what I did with it, how about nothing, absolutely useless. I finally got out of bed around 10:30 am and then went out to do yard work. That was my productivity for the day. After finishing up with that a little before 2, I came in, showered and honestly laid in bed until 6ish. I did manage to bathe the dogs and walked them but that was it.
I need to break out of my funk this job & my boss have me in!
Work just has me bummed right now so doing much of anything else just since unimportant and trivial. I haven't been sleeping well at night so it leaves me less inclined to do much of anything else. Sunday was a day off for me from Lowe's. Guess what I did with it, how about nothing, absolutely useless. I finally got out of bed around 10:30 am and then went out to do yard work. That was my productivity for the day. After finishing up with that a little before 2, I came in, showered and honestly laid in bed until 6ish. I did manage to bathe the dogs and walked them but that was it.
I need to break out of my funk this job & my boss have me in!
Thursday, May 19, 2011
A bumpy ride
Been on a bumpy road and there isn't a sign of things getting better at work. Yesterday my boss ripped me a new one via email for sending an email asking to be included in demos and asking questions about an upgrade that I support to the other two individuals that support it. Since they are a higher level, I was out of line. Long story short, he came in the morning and started ripping into me before 8 on it. I didn't say a word and when he started raising his voice I started to leave. Which at that point he yelled at me to sit in a chair. When I didn't, he yelled for me to sit in a chair now. After I opened the door, he yelled and asked if he should write me up and then yelled to go home my day is done. Endless to say, he went to HR and now I have a headache but am still at the office.
I see Spin class in my future to restore order to my mind and hopefully it puts some calm back into place so I can blog.
I see Spin class in my future to restore order to my mind and hopefully it puts some calm back into place so I can blog.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
They Just Don't Get It!
Warning - today is a rant day.
Some days I really get why some of the mangers we have at my part time job went into retail and skipped college, they just don't get it. I just want to tell them, walk two weeks and my shoes and then let's talk. Of course, they will have some whitty answer and then will forget we had that conversation.
On a weekly basis, it is a fight to make sure they don't give me more than 20 hours in a week. For budget purposes, I need to average 13 as things are set right now. But, most weeks I have to remind them that I have more than 20 and I don't want that. 21 hours, 24 hours isn't bad for the average person. That said, they forget I already work 40 hours if not more at the full time job. I don't need a few extra hours at the part time job.
So Monday night was a classic. There were four closing cashiers. I was the only one that works there part-time and has another full time job. The others have it as their only job. When day light savings time started, Lowe's started opening at 6 am and staying open until 10 pm. In reality it is dumb because they don't change the door signs and most customers don't know unless they happen to stop by. For the worker bees, it means that most nights we don't get to go home until 10:30 or later. However, there are always a few that are scheduled to be off at 10. On Monday, when two of the 3 asked if they could leave because they were only scheduled until 10, the manager (who does schedules) asks they Head Casher (who also does the schedules) why is Jenn scheduled until 10:30 and not one of the first to leave. EXCELLENT question smithers.
Then came last nights conversation. I originally was scheduled vacation from Sunday through Easter because I was going to Vegas and just wanted off for Easter. Anyway, since Vegas was cancelled, I told the manager that she could add back in my Monday & Wednesday night shifts. Well, some how that also turned into adding my Sunday shift back in too. Our mystery shop for the month was not good and it was because the cashiers failed that day so now we have a mandatory meeting on Sunday. Last night I told the manager that I would either come in to work the five hour shift or come in for the meeting, not both, her choice. She then proceeds to tell me how it is her day off too and she has to come in, blah, blah, blah. Lady I don't give a rats ass if you are in a different country and have to come back is really what I wanted to say. I'll remind them Sunday when I leave I am not coming back and if they write me up, I don't care. There is a first for everything I suppose.
I am so tired of this battle with them! Things are finally starting to roll, slowly, with Scentsy so maybe I can build up steam there and tell Lowe's where to go. I am making an effort to make it go which I haven't done in the past and it is amazing the difference it makes. Anyone interested in being an Independent Consultation for Scentsy? It is great extra income and pretty easy! Cheap start up costs too!
Some days I really get why some of the mangers we have at my part time job went into retail and skipped college, they just don't get it. I just want to tell them, walk two weeks and my shoes and then let's talk. Of course, they will have some whitty answer and then will forget we had that conversation.
On a weekly basis, it is a fight to make sure they don't give me more than 20 hours in a week. For budget purposes, I need to average 13 as things are set right now. But, most weeks I have to remind them that I have more than 20 and I don't want that. 21 hours, 24 hours isn't bad for the average person. That said, they forget I already work 40 hours if not more at the full time job. I don't need a few extra hours at the part time job.
So Monday night was a classic. There were four closing cashiers. I was the only one that works there part-time and has another full time job. The others have it as their only job. When day light savings time started, Lowe's started opening at 6 am and staying open until 10 pm. In reality it is dumb because they don't change the door signs and most customers don't know unless they happen to stop by. For the worker bees, it means that most nights we don't get to go home until 10:30 or later. However, there are always a few that are scheduled to be off at 10. On Monday, when two of the 3 asked if they could leave because they were only scheduled until 10, the manager (who does schedules) asks they Head Casher (who also does the schedules) why is Jenn scheduled until 10:30 and not one of the first to leave. EXCELLENT question smithers.
Then came last nights conversation. I originally was scheduled vacation from Sunday through Easter because I was going to Vegas and just wanted off for Easter. Anyway, since Vegas was cancelled, I told the manager that she could add back in my Monday & Wednesday night shifts. Well, some how that also turned into adding my Sunday shift back in too. Our mystery shop for the month was not good and it was because the cashiers failed that day so now we have a mandatory meeting on Sunday. Last night I told the manager that I would either come in to work the five hour shift or come in for the meeting, not both, her choice. She then proceeds to tell me how it is her day off too and she has to come in, blah, blah, blah. Lady I don't give a rats ass if you are in a different country and have to come back is really what I wanted to say. I'll remind them Sunday when I leave I am not coming back and if they write me up, I don't care. There is a first for everything I suppose.
I am so tired of this battle with them! Things are finally starting to roll, slowly, with Scentsy so maybe I can build up steam there and tell Lowe's where to go. I am making an effort to make it go which I haven't done in the past and it is amazing the difference it makes. Anyone interested in being an Independent Consultation for Scentsy? It is great extra income and pretty easy! Cheap start up costs too!
Thursday, April 7, 2011
A break
I think that is what I need, a break.
A break from the dating world at least. I don't know if it is possible to try too hard to find the right guy that you end up wrecking the chances with new prospects? It sure feels like it. Then again, they probably weren't right for me anyway - but you know how that goes. So, I am taking a break. Unless Mr. Right appears on my door step, I am taking a break.
A break from dieting. I swear I have been in the up, down, up, down, up, down roller coaster called weight loss for months, maybe years. At the end of the day, I do really good for a few days and then fail miserably for a few more days and so on. So, instead of diet, instead of journaling, instead of a million versions of diet - I am going to just go with BEING. I'll eat what I want when I am hungry. I will listen to my body and just focus on taking care of me. Feeding myself with fuel and things that will energize me. Of course, working out will also be included in this adventure. Biking, running, just enjoying it outside.
A break from cable. I know, scary! But, I cancelled my cable on Tuesday. Oddly enough, I haven't been home to even notice that it is off. I think I was home for a half hour last night that I watched part of a replay of the Young & the Restless on CBS site but otherwise, I haven't missed it. Something tells me that tonight and tomorrow will not be much different. My Thursday night softball league starts tonight so it will probably be close to 9 before I am home, have the dogs walked, had supper and showered. Friday night will probably be much the same. Plus, it is the season of Crab Grass in my backyard which means I will be spending a lot of time in the backyard pulling out that darn crap and trying to get ahead of it since weed killer only seems to slow it down a little.
What I won't get a break from is work. :( Lowe's is tiring right now. We are staying open until 10 at night which means it is usually 10:30 before I leave and then I can never go home and go straight to bed. But, after they tried to pull a fast one and schedule me with 8 hour shifts on Saturday & Sunday, on top of my 10 hours during the week, HR told management they couldn't do it since I wasn't available. :) Win for me!!! The other job, the real job, well it is just busy and we are waiting to see what our raises are going to be for the year, if anything. Fingers crossed it is something!
Finnegan update - well I think he might of exhausted a few lives but it doesn't seemed to have slowed him down at all. Finn is back to himself, crazy as ever and is showing no effects from the Heat Stroke. The vet was certain he would have permanent brain damage, so I am very relieved! Unfortunately for him, it means that he has been contained to the back porch on nights that I work. I put the baby gate up so he can't leave the porch and run himself into heat stroke again.
A break from the dating world at least. I don't know if it is possible to try too hard to find the right guy that you end up wrecking the chances with new prospects? It sure feels like it. Then again, they probably weren't right for me anyway - but you know how that goes. So, I am taking a break. Unless Mr. Right appears on my door step, I am taking a break.
A break from dieting. I swear I have been in the up, down, up, down, up, down roller coaster called weight loss for months, maybe years. At the end of the day, I do really good for a few days and then fail miserably for a few more days and so on. So, instead of diet, instead of journaling, instead of a million versions of diet - I am going to just go with BEING. I'll eat what I want when I am hungry. I will listen to my body and just focus on taking care of me. Feeding myself with fuel and things that will energize me. Of course, working out will also be included in this adventure. Biking, running, just enjoying it outside.
A break from cable. I know, scary! But, I cancelled my cable on Tuesday. Oddly enough, I haven't been home to even notice that it is off. I think I was home for a half hour last night that I watched part of a replay of the Young & the Restless on CBS site but otherwise, I haven't missed it. Something tells me that tonight and tomorrow will not be much different. My Thursday night softball league starts tonight so it will probably be close to 9 before I am home, have the dogs walked, had supper and showered. Friday night will probably be much the same. Plus, it is the season of Crab Grass in my backyard which means I will be spending a lot of time in the backyard pulling out that darn crap and trying to get ahead of it since weed killer only seems to slow it down a little.
What I won't get a break from is work. :( Lowe's is tiring right now. We are staying open until 10 at night which means it is usually 10:30 before I leave and then I can never go home and go straight to bed. But, after they tried to pull a fast one and schedule me with 8 hour shifts on Saturday & Sunday, on top of my 10 hours during the week, HR told management they couldn't do it since I wasn't available. :) Win for me!!! The other job, the real job, well it is just busy and we are waiting to see what our raises are going to be for the year, if anything. Fingers crossed it is something!
Finnegan update - well I think he might of exhausted a few lives but it doesn't seemed to have slowed him down at all. Finn is back to himself, crazy as ever and is showing no effects from the Heat Stroke. The vet was certain he would have permanent brain damage, so I am very relieved! Unfortunately for him, it means that he has been contained to the back porch on nights that I work. I put the baby gate up so he can't leave the porch and run himself into heat stroke again.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Dear God
Shoot me now.
I am sitting in a Access 2007 Intermediate class today. I honestly think that I have slept through half the class. I feel like crap so it really doesn't help the boredom factor.
So in the first four hours of the class, we covered how to create a database and add tables to it. Honestly, WTF? I mean if that is the first four hours of Intermediate, what do they cover in the beginner class?
Since lunch, we have learned about relationships and joining tables. Oh wait, at 3 pm I finally learned something new. Dear God, shoot me now.
I am sitting in a Access 2007 Intermediate class today. I honestly think that I have slept through half the class. I feel like crap so it really doesn't help the boredom factor.
So in the first four hours of the class, we covered how to create a database and add tables to it. Honestly, WTF? I mean if that is the first four hours of Intermediate, what do they cover in the beginner class?
Since lunch, we have learned about relationships and joining tables. Oh wait, at 3 pm I finally learned something new. Dear God, shoot me now.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
A new day, a new week, a new start
Wow - what a week. It definitely has had its highs and lows but as always, I trudge through.
So work, what do I say - the problem is still there and nothing really has changed. But what I do about it, well the jury is still out on it. Its a catch 22, do you look for the job and find the job that the grass is greener on the other side? Or do you keep going and hope things get better. Right now I have a great boss that is supportive of things and pretty much allows you to come and go as you need. But would a new job have that same luxury? Is it worth that chance? Plus, in January I get that extra week of vacation. Is it worth starting over there again? Definitely not a decision that will be made any time soon. I mean, let's be real, my resume is still from when I got the job in 2007, so some work would need to be done. I keep on, keepin on.
As for the 21 day challenge, well I needed to get my mind right. Last week just wasn't it. This week is better and I think I am ready to make that commitment tomorrow. But, that doesn't mean that I have gone hog wild on food or anything like that. I have been good about things. Plus, Monday & Wednesday I stopped at Town Lake on my way home. I did my 3 mile loop doing the couch to 5k progam. My goal is to make this stop at least twice a week. If anything - I get my workout in and the eye candy is nice. :) Plus, when I get home, the dogs are still getting a 1 1/2 mile walk. So, 4 1/2 miles twice this week - well not too shabby. I think I am moving in the right direction.
Now, tomorrow, I am trying something new and hopeful that maybe this can help relieve some of my pain. My left heel/ankle is bothering me again - yes the one I spent 3 months in a walking boot with. Then for good measure, the other hip is hurting me and it is starting to run down my leg. Then there is the stress in my shoulders. I think a razor blade might be a good description. Or if you flick the muscle, it would snap.
This week we had a health fair. So, one of the things they had you do is stand on this machine to see where you bear your weight. So, when the lady asked me if I have ever had heel pain, I wasn't shocked. Apparently a normal person carries their weight evenly on the balls of your feet and your heels. Yep, mine is carried all on the heels and the outside of the feet. Then for fun, I was shown how off kilter my spine really is. So, tomorrow I am going for a free consultant with a chiropractor. I am interested in hear what he has to say. I told him my concern is the discs I already had surgery on and messing with them. He has promised he only works on problem areas and helps stregthen the muscles where need be. At this point - doesn't hurt to look into it if it makes me feel better.
So work, what do I say - the problem is still there and nothing really has changed. But what I do about it, well the jury is still out on it. Its a catch 22, do you look for the job and find the job that the grass is greener on the other side? Or do you keep going and hope things get better. Right now I have a great boss that is supportive of things and pretty much allows you to come and go as you need. But would a new job have that same luxury? Is it worth that chance? Plus, in January I get that extra week of vacation. Is it worth starting over there again? Definitely not a decision that will be made any time soon. I mean, let's be real, my resume is still from when I got the job in 2007, so some work would need to be done. I keep on, keepin on.
As for the 21 day challenge, well I needed to get my mind right. Last week just wasn't it. This week is better and I think I am ready to make that commitment tomorrow. But, that doesn't mean that I have gone hog wild on food or anything like that. I have been good about things. Plus, Monday & Wednesday I stopped at Town Lake on my way home. I did my 3 mile loop doing the couch to 5k progam. My goal is to make this stop at least twice a week. If anything - I get my workout in and the eye candy is nice. :) Plus, when I get home, the dogs are still getting a 1 1/2 mile walk. So, 4 1/2 miles twice this week - well not too shabby. I think I am moving in the right direction.
Now, tomorrow, I am trying something new and hopeful that maybe this can help relieve some of my pain. My left heel/ankle is bothering me again - yes the one I spent 3 months in a walking boot with. Then for good measure, the other hip is hurting me and it is starting to run down my leg. Then there is the stress in my shoulders. I think a razor blade might be a good description. Or if you flick the muscle, it would snap.
This week we had a health fair. So, one of the things they had you do is stand on this machine to see where you bear your weight. So, when the lady asked me if I have ever had heel pain, I wasn't shocked. Apparently a normal person carries their weight evenly on the balls of your feet and your heels. Yep, mine is carried all on the heels and the outside of the feet. Then for fun, I was shown how off kilter my spine really is. So, tomorrow I am going for a free consultant with a chiropractor. I am interested in hear what he has to say. I told him my concern is the discs I already had surgery on and messing with them. He has promised he only works on problem areas and helps stregthen the muscles where need be. At this point - doesn't hurt to look into it if it makes me feel better.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
A Crossroads
Well, the 21 day challenge is beginning today. The past few days have been an upside down kind of day and I just couldn't focus on anything, let alone what I was eating, what I was doing with anything.
First off, let me say that I wish I wasn't such a girl and cry when my emotions get the best of me. Boy is that what happened yesterday and I just couldn't shut them off. I still probably could cry about it. Really at the end of the day, it is going to require a decision, a huge decision and I just ask for prayers that, at the end of the day, it is the right decision for me.
I know WTF am I talking about - right.
Well, since I graduated from college in 1997, I have had a job with an Insurance company. Now granted, my job has always evolved and today I am removed from my account degree but I still work for an insurance company. After spending 5 years working in Internal Audit, I transitioned over to the IT world. So for Ameritas, I did a little bit of everything. Troubleshooting computers, working with phone and internet providers, Quality Assurance for a database, working in a contact management system, and the list goes on. I loved what I did, just not the boss I worked for.
Well, transition to my job at NFP. I was hired as an Administrator for our insurance database that allows offices to keep track of their clients, policies, etc. Well, with the recession, my job transitioned to a new department. Instead of being aligned directly with the Insurance Channel, I was moved over to the Technology umbrella. At the end of the day, I was suppose to support the database but was now being required to support about 20 other applications. For the past three years, in this new role, the time that was devoted to the database has become less and less. In a nutshell, every time something came up, the response was J has the bandwidth and the database got shoved a little farther off my table.
This year, my job has just sucked, no sugar coating it. One of the business channels forced their members to use encryption software. Imagine coordinating this new service for 450 offices, which almost all of them have a different email service provider. Sucked. Of course, people are mad about being forced to use it and guess who leads it because they had the bandwidth - yep me. So, now a huge part of my day is spent resetting passwords to open secure emails, opening tickets to determine why an email was caught as Spam, etc. It sucks.
Then, in July, we changed our log in process to be similar to banks, a dual authentication code log in process. Of course, up to this point, we never really enforced if a reps assistant called to reset their reps log in information - now we suddenly are. The people in the field struggle with it and constantly lock themselves out of the password and security questions. And they yell. And they scream. And they hang up. And their mad because they can’t do it for their rep. Guess who also leads this because they have the bandwidth? Yep, me.
So, in four years, I have gone from being a consultant, providing training, working with offices on a database to having my job digress to something I don't need a degree to do and consistently have people yell at me. The light at the end of the table was that at least part of the database was still on my table and there was hope that things would become more involved with it in the next six months. So, yesterday, it was shoved so far that it is just barely clinging to my table.
I spent probably close to an hour and a half in the boss' office on it. Of course, I cried about it, and cried and sniffled some more. It just sucks. The part of my job that I loved best will no doubt fall completely off in the next year. Oh my boss appreciates me and understands that I am capable of much more. But, he doesn't see it changing for what I am doing for the next three months. Then, basically I will get assigned the tasks and jobs he doesn't have time for on a day to day basis. Fanfuckentabulous. So, do I start looking? Do I accept the job for what it is and stick with it and just accept that I am 100% technology? Do I go down kicking & screaming on this database? Am I willing to go back to school so I can understand the technical side of life? Or is this God's way of saying become a teacher? Do I move back to Nebraska because at the end of the day, it was the job that kept me here?
If God could just good just let me see my future in a dream so I know what to do, that would be really great. So, at this point, I can just ask for Prayers that I make the right choice in the cross-roads.
First off, let me say that I wish I wasn't such a girl and cry when my emotions get the best of me. Boy is that what happened yesterday and I just couldn't shut them off. I still probably could cry about it. Really at the end of the day, it is going to require a decision, a huge decision and I just ask for prayers that, at the end of the day, it is the right decision for me.
I know WTF am I talking about - right.
Well, since I graduated from college in 1997, I have had a job with an Insurance company. Now granted, my job has always evolved and today I am removed from my account degree but I still work for an insurance company. After spending 5 years working in Internal Audit, I transitioned over to the IT world. So for Ameritas, I did a little bit of everything. Troubleshooting computers, working with phone and internet providers, Quality Assurance for a database, working in a contact management system, and the list goes on. I loved what I did, just not the boss I worked for.
Well, transition to my job at NFP. I was hired as an Administrator for our insurance database that allows offices to keep track of their clients, policies, etc. Well, with the recession, my job transitioned to a new department. Instead of being aligned directly with the Insurance Channel, I was moved over to the Technology umbrella. At the end of the day, I was suppose to support the database but was now being required to support about 20 other applications. For the past three years, in this new role, the time that was devoted to the database has become less and less. In a nutshell, every time something came up, the response was J has the bandwidth and the database got shoved a little farther off my table.
This year, my job has just sucked, no sugar coating it. One of the business channels forced their members to use encryption software. Imagine coordinating this new service for 450 offices, which almost all of them have a different email service provider. Sucked. Of course, people are mad about being forced to use it and guess who leads it because they had the bandwidth - yep me. So, now a huge part of my day is spent resetting passwords to open secure emails, opening tickets to determine why an email was caught as Spam, etc. It sucks.
Then, in July, we changed our log in process to be similar to banks, a dual authentication code log in process. Of course, up to this point, we never really enforced if a reps assistant called to reset their reps log in information - now we suddenly are. The people in the field struggle with it and constantly lock themselves out of the password and security questions. And they yell. And they scream. And they hang up. And their mad because they can’t do it for their rep. Guess who also leads this because they have the bandwidth? Yep, me.
So, in four years, I have gone from being a consultant, providing training, working with offices on a database to having my job digress to something I don't need a degree to do and consistently have people yell at me. The light at the end of the table was that at least part of the database was still on my table and there was hope that things would become more involved with it in the next six months. So, yesterday, it was shoved so far that it is just barely clinging to my table.
I spent probably close to an hour and a half in the boss' office on it. Of course, I cried about it, and cried and sniffled some more. It just sucks. The part of my job that I loved best will no doubt fall completely off in the next year. Oh my boss appreciates me and understands that I am capable of much more. But, he doesn't see it changing for what I am doing for the next three months. Then, basically I will get assigned the tasks and jobs he doesn't have time for on a day to day basis. Fanfuckentabulous. So, do I start looking? Do I accept the job for what it is and stick with it and just accept that I am 100% technology? Do I go down kicking & screaming on this database? Am I willing to go back to school so I can understand the technical side of life? Or is this God's way of saying become a teacher? Do I move back to Nebraska because at the end of the day, it was the job that kept me here?
If God could just good just let me see my future in a dream so I know what to do, that would be really great. So, at this point, I can just ask for Prayers that I make the right choice in the cross-roads.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Irony
So - today we received the following email card from the president of our company....
So, I am going to assume by this email that by Happy, she means that it will be better times in 2009. By Healthy, since our health benefits are increasing by 174.47%, I will need to be health just to afford them. By Prosperous - I should expect at minimum a 2.82% increase in my salary just so I can make the same I did back in 2007 when I started here.
Season Greetings to you too lady!
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