On Saturday, I had to put down one of my foster dogs, Bentley. It was not a decision that I made but one I had to follow through on as a foster. It is a decision that breaks my heart and I still want to cry when I think of those big brown eyes staring and me and giving me kisses in his final moments.
|You can see all the mats and hot spots|
The oldest daughter was 14 and just sobbed and didn't want to give up the dog. I think we spent more time waiting for her to give him up than it took to fill out all the paperwork. As soon as I thought we could get him in the crate, she would just hug him tighter and pleading with her mom to not let go of the dog, to let her keep it. I promised her then and there that we would find a great home for this dog and he would have his happily ever after. That is what this rescue does, we find great homes.
How I failed.
|Sitting patiently having the mats cut off.|
I sent as much information to the rescue team as I could about him and they continued to work to find him a foster home. One was found and I met the new foster family that Friday. Unfortunately by Saturday evening, he had bit one child twice and attempted to bite another adult. So, Sunday he was back in my home.
No, he was not one of the dogs that made the trip back to Nebraska with me. I knew he was still too unsettled and given the number of children that would be around, I did not want to take the chance or stress him more, so he was kenneled at the vets office.
|The happy dog|
Because of this, he was not considered adoptable by the rescue president. I understand and know it was best for him. I would not want a child or someone else to be seriously hurt if they were bit by him. But, it was so painfully hard to do. It was almost as if he knew and was pleading with me.
Friday night he was extra cuddly and spent most of the evening on the couch with me. When I told him it was time for bed, he went to his crate, no issues. Saturday morning he just followed me around and would lay in whatever room I happened to be.
|My last picture of him. Waiting for the vet.|
I hope that he forgives me for the failed promise of happily ever after with a new family. I hope if the family ever learns of what came of him, they too will forgive me.
Maybe my heart is not cut out to be a foster mom.
RIP sweet buddy.