The Big Decision

It actually feels like a mountain weighing on me and I really don't know what I should do. Really I know what I should do but it scares me to do it.

For whatever reason, after college, my allergies were taken to a whole new level. Basically I can hug a tree without worrying and that is about it, the rest I am allergic to. That includes cats, most dogs, dust, mold, grass and a slew of other random stuff. For the most part life was some what in control with allergy injections in each arm, each week. On top of that I had the allergy meds and nasal spray to help with what the shots didn't.

Well, when I moved to Austin, I had to go off the shots for one year. They wanted to "acclimate" me to Texas and make sure I didn't have anything new. The good news is that I don't suffer from "Cedar Fever" that they have here, but the rest didn't go away. I am back to getting two shots to help get over the allergies. Now, they are trying to fast forward me through this, so I have been going at least once a week but there have been a few weeks that I have been in 3 times to get my two shots. Plus the oral & nasal meds. :)

Last winter I blogged about the sinus infection that wouldn't go away. After CT scans galore, they determined that I had an infection that was full blown, won't go away. I had a deviated septum, a sinus cavity developed incorrectly and something else was wrong. Long story short, two different doctors, same recommendation...SURGERY.

Well, they said I could put it off because I was training for the triathlon and that would of prevented me from training and doing the race. Well, all summer I was blessed with no sinus infections and the saline rinses seemed to be helping. Unfortunately that came to an end last Saturday, the sinus infection is back.

I am lucky in that I don't get the blinding headaches but I do live with the feeling that my ears are floating in water. The over counter meds are helping somewhat but not making it go away. So, yesterday and today I have been talking about the surgery with the ENT doctor to see what all is involved.

Lovely insurance means that minimum it will cost is $500, plus 90% of doctors, hospital and anesthesiologist. Of course, no one can tell me what my total out of pocket would be because they all bill separately. Thanks for nothing.

I think the biggest fear is not knowing. Is this going to solve my problems or most of them? Will I sleep better at night? Will I not be constantly tired anymore? Ma says she would not do it again if she had to but that was 20 years ago - things have had to change, right? Then there is my struggles with surgery and anesthesia. Out of my six surgeries in which I was put out, half have turned from an outpatient surgery to 3 day hospital stay. This is suppose to be a relatively short surgery, so since I did okay on the other short ones, I should be fine on this one - right? UGH! Can I be a kid again and have my mom and dad make the decision for me?