Sunday, June 23, 2013

Cinco de Mayo

Today (okay more like the past hour), I have been in a purge, garage sale, love it mode.  My philosophy is that if I don't love it and it doesn't bring me happiness, I should not keep it.  From there it goes to the trash or the garage sale pile.  I'm pretty sure I have enough crap that will become another man's treasure.

This adventure brought me to a notebook.  What a blast from the past.  I'm pretty sure that if I had this blog and wrote this on here that makes me wonder where life would have ended up and if things would have changed sooner?  No one knows but I thought I would share a glimpse into the past that I hid for so long from everyone.  Of course, now that the fog has really lifted...what in the HELL was I thinking then?!?!

May 5, 2007 - Cinco de Mayo (One month & a day into moving to Texas)

I thought I needed to start writing things down again.  Ex isn't home tonight and it is really my first night alone since moving here.  It has been a rough transition in Austin from a couple of fronts.  First is the job factor - I never could of imagined it being this hard trying to find a job.  Ex has been so great & supportive about it but it just bothers me.  I know I just need to be patient and the right job will come at the right time.  Of course, then again, patience was never my strong point.  The other problem has been (the) Ex & his drinking.  He wants to prove he can just be okay with beer but it has been a struggle.  I know he continues to hide alcohol from me.  It breaks my heart.  I know what I was getting into but things were so great last fall when he was not drinking.  Thursday night I saw the rage and hatred in his eyes that scared me to death last fall.  I cannot tell him to stop drinking, he has to want to do it on his own.  God, it just hurts me so much he is so mean & hateful  when he drinks & it feels like he exploits my every weakness & fear when he is that way.  I worry about what our future will be like - what happens with the stress of getting married - commitment or permanent hasn't really been there or what if something ever happened health wise with a child.  He doesn't handle stress well, admits it but continues to deal with it through alcohol.  I love him with all my heart & couldn't of ever imagined meet the good (Ex) let alone ever know he picked me.  I do want a future with him, I can't imagine one where he isn't in it but there is always that fear with the alcohol & his desire to still hide it.  It just creates a doubt when I find the empty bottles - sometimes I fear that it just isn't the alcohol he isn't be honest about.  If that is so easy to hide from me what else is there?  The one thing I know I cannot continue to do is deal with it with food.  The stress binge eating or eating just because I am bored isn't an excuse anymore.  I have the power to make choices & do something about it.  I have chose to be a victim in my life for too long and now need to be the owner of my life & future!

Plan of Action for Sunday:
Church, time for family, groceries, clean floors, weights, & walk Guinness

Tomorrow is a new day.  Every morning that I wake up next to (the) Ex is another day blessed in my life.


All I can say is thank God the fog lifted and I realized that my life was so much better AND Blessed without the Ex in my life.    And now that sheet can go to the trash pile.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

THAT Neighbor

That's right, I became THAT neighbor.  The one that calls the police, calls the HOA, calls anyone to get rid of the nuisance dog. Yes, the one that has four dogs in her house, yes that one.

The house to the west of me is a rental house.  In the five years I have been in my house, I have blessed in that I have only had two neighbors.  Both of which were very friendly.  Both of which owned a dog.  The first renters dog barked but it wasn't outside much.  The current renters, it is a whole different story. 

First off, I cannot tell you how many fence pickets I have replaced in 5 years.  Finn loves to run up and down the fence and wants to play.  Well the dog on the other side always got angry and then it became a case of barking and chewing trying to get through the fence.  Finn knows he is not suppose to bark when he is outside so he gets ushered back inside promptly.  Unfortunately that was not the case with my neighbors.

If you have been to my house, you KNOW the issue.  For the past two years, I have been unable to enjoy my backyard.  See, the neighbors dog is let outside about 6:30 every morning and then allowed back in around 10 pm.  Guess what happens if you walked onto the porch or into my yard...yup...she barked, and barked and barked.  Sometimes I swore she was going to come through the fence and bite me when I was pulling weeds along the fence line.  Plus she is a digger, so she would dig holes along the fence line.  Of course, being the responsible owners they were not, they would put something to block the hole but would never fill in the dirt now missing on my side. 

Talk to the neighbors you say.  We did and have.  NoDIY had numerous conversation with them because he was always on the porch.  I have even gone so far as asking them to let the dog in because I couldn't stand listening to it bark anymore and I was INSIDE.  It was on deaf ears.

The male in the house didn't want the dog.  He said it was his wife and step daughters dog.  If it was up to him, the dog would have been gone.  The other two just didn't care.  The only exercise that I ever saw the dog get was the walks it took from breaking out.  Of course the dog had not been spayed so you can imagine what happened, PUPPIES.  It gave a break from the barking because they allowed her inside to care for the dogs.  However, once the puppies were gone, back outside and back to barking it went.

I couldn't take it anymore.  I called the sheriff's office one day.  Really it was for the dogs own good.  This house doesn't have a covered porch or area.  So, here is this poor dog outside all day in the Texas heat with no shelter and I couldn't see the food or water bowl.  It was 85+ that day and humid as hell so I turned them in for animal neglect and also being a nuisance.  Well, they could address the neglect but couldn't the nuisance.  So, I called the HOA and filed a complaint there.  This was all about 3 weeks ago.

All I can say is, I should have done it sooner.  The dog is gone.  I'm sure she was a sweet dog and I hope that she has found a good home with owners that will take care of her.  Poor Finn, well he is sad that his girlfriend is gone.  About once a day, he goes to the fence line and barks for her, hoping she will appear.  Of course, it scares me to see what he will be like when Murphy & Vito leave.  I'm going to have a very, very sad dog. 

Yet, I am excited to have grass grow in the areas that the dogs have run and run chasing the neighbors dogs on that fence line.

PS. It is just the two renters dogs.  I have dogs along another fence line and occasionally they bark at them but not very often!