I emailed my job coach this morning as I had just been feeling like I was close to shut down mode. I have not been feeling like doing my homework for her the past few days. Searching the job posts was not something I looked forward to. Hearing no on the job front was even worse and I dreaded going to my home office to "work". Then the crinkle in my Nebraska trip seemed to be like a straw in the camels back and shut down mode was there.
Her advise was simple, 'take a break! Not forever, just a day or two where you don't even open emails'. Read a book, do something for you, do something fun, enjoy yourself.
Anyone that knows me knows that for too long, I worked too many hours and probably had too many jobs. I think probably since the day I went into College I had at least two jobs. There was always softball and school work. But there was also the part time jobs during the school year, even in season. After college, if I wasn't at work, I was off coaching a team somewhere. Then there was the four plus years of 60 hour weeks working 7 days a week at two jobs. So, to some degree it has been nice not to work. BUT on the other hand, NOT having to work is absolutely killing me.
It is also hard because now that it has been two months, life around you still goes on. The people around you still have jobs and go to work every day. Their routines haven't changed, just yours. When you first lose your job, everyone reaches out to you. They all check up on you, see how you are doing. Over time that fades. I don't think that they necessarily have forgotten you, they just get caught up in life and work. They forget to reach out. They think that they have filled you in on things or you know schedules but in reality, you do not. It is like you are in your own little bubble.
However, what I have learned in the past two months is that at the end of the day, work does matter, but not that much. You have to have the job that you can find balance and harmony at. A job that you can find happiness in going into the office, doing your job and bringing joy to those you encounter throughout the day. But, you also need to be able to go home, leave work and make time for those you care about most and the things that bring you happiness. I learned that lesson the hard way. A lot of relationships were neglected for job that I loved, for a company who didn't love me back as much.
Just because something is important to you, just because it brings you happiness does not always mean that others are going to see it that way. People in life will try and steal your thunder. There are always going to be people, whether intentional or not, that are going to try and steal your joy. Rise to the occasion and do not give them that pleasure. It is hard to do but one that is worth doing. Just because something is a priority to you, does not make it a priority to someone else, EVER. If you want it bad enough, you will find a way to make it work; you above!
As a child blows the dandelion peddles in the wind...remember every situation is just that, powerless in your life if you do not give it a reaction.
Reboot complete.
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