Is it Goodbye?

So this weekend was a mixed bag of emotions for me.  Sargent Drama, or also known as Copier Man & NY man, had a going away party.  He is leaving this morning for Fort Jackson for two months of basic training in the Army.

As a refresher, Sargent Drama  and I had dated last summer.  However, shortly after we started dating, his world turned upside down and he was laid off from his job.  I think, as would be the case for anyone of us, life took a drastic turn.  He had to focus on himself and what was best for him.  Well, through it all, we have kept in touch.  We might not spend time together and see each other as often I was would of like but he has always been there in the background.  During this change, he opted to go to the Army, something he wanted to do going out of college but was told he couldn't.  So the past few months he has been preparing himself for his newiest adventure.

So, when he invited me to his going away party, of course I had to go.  They were renting a boat on Lake Travis for the afternoon.  So, in my mind, I was prepared for this party with friends and a few of his family. What I wasn’t prepared for was finding out that outside of a couple of his friends, their significant others & myself, it was his family and then some of the kids he coached soccer with & their parents. Don’t get me wrong, it was a party with plenty of alcohol and good times but just weird. It also was pretty clear his family knew who I was, his brother called me bubble girl (because my profile pic on facebook had me in a bubble bath) and his family knew all about me.

It is hard.  We have this connection but the timing is just bad.  He admits it.  I can feel it.  But there is nothing we can do about it but try and move through it.  At the end of the day, we will always be friends.  Yet, I just wonder what if he never lost his job?  What if the timing wasn't bad?  I feel like a jumble of emotions and really just confused.  So do you write him and hope that maybe the timing will be better when he comes out of boot camp? But then what.  Why can't it be easy for once?