The Hits Keep Coming

They always tell you God has this Master Plan for you and that he does hear your prayers. He might not always answer them in the time frame you ask for them but the answers will come with the time. Last night, by the time I got home, I was 100% a mess. I can't tell you the last time I actually had done it, but last night I just found myself sitting on the closet floor crying, and crying, and crying. If this is God's Master Plan for me, I have to say that it really sucks up to this point and when is something good going to land in my world? I mean really is it too much to ask?


So, let me back up to the 30th of December. See, that was the day that my heavy foot caught up to me. I was in the middle of a pack of cars and thought if I go with the flow, I'm okay. Not so much. Because Officer Friendly was in such a holiday spirit, I received a $235 speeding ticket. $105 for just the court cost. Lucky me.

Then Wednesday was date number three with Turtle. I haven't blogged about him up to this point just because one date wasn't enough and well, I was just sitting on the fence with this one. I had a nice time with him when we went out but that romantic connection just didn't seem to be there. But, I figured why not keep going and maybe things would change. Of course, when we did go out, Turtle was a gentleman, we always met at the location we were going, always paid but on the same front, just seemed to always be nervous and uncomfortable. I think that is probably why I kept going back out, just to see if he would relax. He definitely was not one to talk on the phone. Heck, we had to do a change of plans for date two, that conversation last two and a half minutes. It was strictly the information about the date, no how was your day, etc.

Fast forward to Wednesday night, we ended up going to see True Grit. Now, he chose the movie (he had already seen it once) and the location. It was a new movie theater in the Domain and let's just say I was not aware until the next day that the tickets cost $29 per person! You had an assigned seat that was almost a recliner and really you could almost lay down it reclined so far. It was a nice place but I don't know if one needed to go that far. Anyway, he walked me to my car and we chatted for a minute. Then out of the blue came "May I kiss you?" I was stunned and I don't want to say I laughed in his face but did laugh and was like you are really going to ask? Is this what it was like to be courted in the 70s? They ask to kiss you? I mean really?!?! Unbelievable. I agreed, got a peck on the lips and then he ran like a little school girl, or so it felt like.

I was talking to my mom afterwards and was laughing and crying at the same time. If God's master plan is at work here, it seems like a cruel joke. I love kids, I want to have kids of my own and why can't finding a man seem to be ok? Why does it have to be so hard? I am so done with this dating thing. I mean maybe it is God's way of telling me to embrace single life and not deal with it? It was just a huge let down.

Then came yesterday. I feel like I am in a movie about a series of misfortunate events and I am playing the lead role. I have previously blogged about how my job continues to change for the worse and how I was trying to ride the tide. On a daily basis I take at least two calls, if not more, of people grumbling because they don't like the new log in process and just want to bitch. It honestly wears on a after awhile. Of course, I take the majority of the calls so I catch a majority of the bad calls. Take for example this week. Right now, I have closed out 71 tickets this week with two others closing out a total of 48. Seems even.

To help with the situation I have made some recommendations. Three months ago, I provided a list of questions for them to add to the reminder list to make things easier for the clients. Finally in December, those were approved - but nothing has been updated. I also suggested the beginning of December they remove a link that provided no useful value outside of cause confusion and frustration, again approved but nothing has been updated. Then right around Christmas, given the calls of people bitching and biting my head off on a daily basis, well I asked that if the team didn't want to do it, I wanted my calls recorded. I wanted the powers that be know how I am treated on a daily basis.

So, regardless of me trying to improve the situation, nothing has changed. That is until yesterday. Apparently a couple of reps have complained to the higher powers about me, probably the same ones that bitch at me. But regardless, I have determined that the Company values the paying members more than their employees. I was given two options, I can switch roles to a Data Administration role - which to me is a demotion of sorts because the current job requirements are that you need a high school diploma. Or, I mandated to have my calls recorded, my boss listening to them and provide direction on how I can better defuse the situation. Seriously? WTF? I honestly have never worked for a company in which people were allowed to call in and belittle people like what goes on here on a daily basis. I had one guy tell me that because I was an hourly associate, I cannot appreciate that time is money!
In three years I have gone from a job that I loved that had a few kinks to a job that I honestly understand why people say they are just putting in their time. If I am not valued as an employee, why would I want to care about the job I do.
So, that was my melt down. Dating sucks like no other. My job sucks like no other. Embracing the suck is not working for me people. I like to believe that most days I am glass is half full type person but yesterday was my glass was empty and I hate life day. I really questioned God and His master plan too. I don’t know if I would say I am better today about things, more I have chose to just not feel.