They tell you to count backwards from 100 and honestly I don't remember if I make it out of the 90s. But, I do have that sinking thought of will I wake up? I think everyone has it has ever has surgery. Or so I hope I am not alone.
I should be asleep now. I have to be up at 4:45 and out the door by 5:15 but I can't sleep. I have had a number of surgeries in life, 6 to be exact and they are never anything less than stellar. From always puking to having a bladder that doesn't want to work, outpatient becomes a three day hospital stay. I have this normal routine I go through, Church, confession and then prep for the surgery.
I think the part that bothers me the most is that I didn't make it to Church or confession. My biggest fear with any surgery is dying. It just is. It was hard tonight talking to my momma. I talk to her everyday. Tonight she said I love you when she ended the call. I know many here that every call with their family but ours isn't that way. So to hear it, it was just hard. My second mom Aunt Jo Ann is here to take care of me, taking me to the hospital, taking care of me this weekend and keeping my momma in updated.
So here I lie in bed tonight, tears flowing, afraid. I'll say my prayers tonight and beg for God's forgiveness and mercy for the sinner that I am and I'll pray that this surgery does help me and ease my sinus pain.
For my family and friends, I love you all! As Grandma Schmidt would say, until we meet again....