The Journey

It has been a journey like no other. It is a journey that three years ago I never thought I would of gone through and could of never imagined getting to...but I did and I can officially say, I did it!

The journey began 2 years, 1 month, and 22 days ago. At that point I would never tell you I would be where I am today. I packed up all I had and moved to this state with the love of my life, the EX. In a short period of time, it started to go terribly wrong, his alcohol addiction one out and I saw life flash before me. No matter how hard a person tries, there are some addictions you can win and other's you can't. Accepting that you can't change someone, letting go of them and freeing yourself from the abuse is harder than I hope you ever have to know, especially in a state where your support group is limited. But, I did. That was 1 year, 2 months and 13 days that I faced the last fist.

Yesterday I celebrated a new me and the person I really am. I finished my first Triathlon in 2 hours and 17 minutes. I did it despite a chronic sinus infection since December and two doctor's recommending surgery. I did it despite working two jobs to help dig out of what was left behind by the EX. I did it because I wanted it!

It has been a journey. Some days were good, some days were bad and some days were unthinkable but I am exactly where I want to be in life. I know that I have some things left on my to do list, marriage, kids, and a few smaller ones. But, those will come when they are right. I won this victory because I believed in myself and the other's will come when the time is right. But for now - I relish in the victory!

Of course, now it is on to losing that weight I gained in the last 1 year, 2 months, and 13 days....DAMN comfort food. But - I will and I will do it as I train for my next Triathlon - going to give the Austin Triathlon a whirl as a slimmer me. Look out world - here I come!

The Rookie

So - I gave you the official information but what fun would it be without my take of it all.

The alarm went of at 3:45 am. Guinness & Finnegan must of thought it to be a joke. I made it out the door at 4:15 am and met the carpool group at 4:45. Brian (my We made it there a little before the gates opened so we got great parking! Why is that important? Ultimately you could end up lugging your things over a 1/2 a mile just to get to where you need to be!

Step one was to go to the transition area. To get in, you first had to be body marked. In other words, they took permanent marker and put your race number on both arms and both thighs. In addition, they put your age as of 12/31/09 on the back of your calf. Still not sure what that one was about. From there, you enter and the bikes and your gear are staged according to your age group. Once you were "set up" you needed to get your chip - since it was a timed event. After that, it was just milling around and hydrating.

At 7:30, the transition area closed and the race activities began. There was about 1000 people registered for the race and around 750 actually competed. I have also learned that you need to be comfortable in your own skin. There was so definite "PRO's" there and then there were the not so in shape people. I have yet to ever meet a person that looks sexy in a swim cap - Lycra to your head. Hats off to the women races that did the whole race in their swim suit. I had a tri shirt & shorts which the shorts have a little padding in them for the bike portion of the race and both are to dry quickly.

The first wave of races started at 8 am. The did the Open division first and then went through the men's divisions before my turn was up. I started precisely at 8:24 am with the 35-39 Group. I was starting with what I envisioned my hardiest piece - the swimming. Basically we were making a giant horseshoe, out & back. Of course, it was no shock that the wave behind me, which started 3 minutes later, caught up to me. But, the positive was I wasn't the last one out.

Now it was off to the transition. I thought I would run there but couldn't find my legs once I got out of the water. I really appreciated the people on land telling me I had mud on my face. Hmmm - thanks, appreciate it. The transition went smoothly - which really consisted of me taking off the swim cap & goggles and then getting my bike helmet, glasses, gloves, socks & shoes on. I managed it all in under 3 minutes and was out the gate on the bike.

It was in that first two minutes of the bike that I really questioned what the F*#k I was doing trying to do a first Triathlon at 35 - I must have lost my mind. Now, my legs were tired, however, what made things worse is that they gave us a hill from hell right away. At that point, I can only assume that it is the first of more to come. It was tough, I quit and got off the bike and ran the bike up the hill. I can't tell you how many thoughts of this is going to suck, I should quit and turn back, what was I thinking, etc went through my head.

But - I pressed on and really the first hill was the only really BAD hill, the rest were more of a rolling hill. However, I must say that I have come to despise the ages on your calf. Especially when the fit, queen tri lady of 65 went flying past me on the bike. It appears my 6 minute head start from her was not enough! About mile mark 8, tragedy struck and the darn chain fell off. It had been grinding when I changed the upper gears so it was a shock that it fell off. Fortunately, in a matter of minutes, it was back on and I was off.

I finished the 11 mile ride and actually it was quite peaceful. The first part was pretty shaded with all the trees. It reminded me a lot of home and being back in the country. Of course, I did follow coaches advise and it was my "rolling buffet". I took in my gel packs and liquids to give me the fuel needed for the run.

I made it back to the tranistion area and outside of ditching the helmet and gloves, it was a quick transition. By next race I should be using my bike shoes & clips, so it will take a minute or two longer for the switch. Off on the run it was. Well, was suppose to be?

About 30 seconds into the run, my right calf cramped. It is the first time in my life that I can ever remember having a cramp like that in the middle of the event. Usually it is a charlie horse in the middle of the night. So no running, but I kept moving foward. I did a wog - walk jog for the 2 miles and towards the end - just decided to go for it and run. Of course, it helped that it was downhill to the finish line.

Until you experience it, there is no bigger rush that hearing people cheering you on and having the cow bells ringing as you race towards that finish line. My TNT folks were there on the side cheering on those of us that were still coming in. Maybe it would be cool to be on the sidelines cheering, but at the end - they cheered for me crossing the finish line. I wasn't the last one to cross and didn't promptly collapse either. I was promptly greeted with an ice towell and cold water. LOVED it and I DID it!

Tri Hard, Live Easy

That was what I saw Sunday on the back of one of the team shirts and thought it was fitting for the title today!

It is official, I completed my first triathlon. Now it wasn't a speed breaking race but I finished it! I didn't finish first, but I didn't finish last and I wasn't the last in my age group either. I finished the race in 1:39.17.25. The official break down of that is 300 m swim - 12:27.70, transition 2:48.10, 11 mile bike ride 55:45.20, transition 1:15.80, 2 mile run 27:00.45. It amazes me how they track all that.

Overall, I am okay with that finish considering I am no where in the shape I need to be and have struggled with the training due to the constant sinus infections since December.

The Smile

is what got me through today. I haven't trained in a week and I knew it was going to kick my butt.

The Smile...it was what Brennan was always known for. He was always smiling. I just don't know if I can ever remember a time when he wasn't smiling. Plus every picture you find of him, he is always smiling, no complaints. Even at the end...he still could be found with a smile on his face. Maybe he knew of a greater place he was going to go, one without pain and where he could run free. Maybe he didn't but at a time when so many of us held back the tears, he could be found in another room smiling and laughing with his cousins. Today, that smile got me through the workout!

I met Runner at spin class and boy did I get my ass kicked! I had never had this teacher before and she kicked our ass and made the legs feel like rubber. Now if you have never been to spin before - just picture a dark room, lots of fast, upbeat music and an instructor that calls you out if you don't up the tension on the bike and are slacking. Just when we finished a hell piece, one didn't think it could get any worse....but it was going to.

The teacher then told us to think about someone that couldn't be there with us today, that couldn't climb the hill with us that we were about to face. We need to push through and do it for them, with them. Brennan and the smile came instantly to my mind. It was like he was at the top of the hill, smiling waiting for me to get there. I had to but most importantly wanted to do it for him, for the bike rides he never got and the mountains he never got to face. I did it!!! Even more than that, I didn't cheat the tension and cranked it up when I was told to crank it up!!!

But, it didn't stop there. Runner said - let's go run for 10 minutes AFTER spin class. I said - heck let's do 15 minutes. Runner kindly gave me the open treadmill (I think that was kind?!) and off I went. I would like to say I did all 15 minutes with no walking but there was walking involved. In the end - I finished 1.25 miles in my 15 minutes. For me - that is good, especially after a 40 minute spin class. I even sprinted the last 30 seconds! My legs felt like rubber but I just kept pushing myself - knowing that Brennan was smiling down on me for doing what I did today.

I needed today! Thanks Brennan! Thanks Runner for pushing me! To the teacher - thanks for kicking my ass! After having a day of doubts - this was the day I needed. I have questioned whether I was insane for trying to tackle an Olympic Triathlon at 35 with two bad knees and already having one back surgery. DC has even questioned if I thought this through and reminded me I am not a 20 something in college anymore. Feeling behind on training didn't help any of these feelings. But after today - it doesn't matter, knowing I have angel wings to help me through - I will finish this! It might not be in record time but I WILL finish what I started!

The Commitment

Yes, you are probably asking yourself by now - is she really committed to doing this? As they say in Minnesota, "You betcha!"

So this week probably wasn't my finest effort for workouts but I am committed, 100% committed and from tomorrow on, there will be no excuses for missing a workout. (Well, unless I come down with that sudden case of pnemonia and I am in the hospital Monday so I don't have to deal with the fall out of the upgrade at work.) Okay, kidding aside, I am committed.

How committed? Well, we can get past the bike that was bought. It is officially a used bike now and that won't be going back. For most of you, you probably don't realize how expensive Road Bike's are. Let's just say that for a entry-level, don't break the bank bike, I still was over $600 (on clearance). The goggles, swim cap, real swimming suit, the bike helmet, the bike shorts (you cannot function without them!) those are the little things.

But there is also the additional race I signed up for. The Rookie which happens on Mother's Day in New Braunfels, TX. They call it the rookie because it is a get your feet wet, prepare for race day race that is much shorter than The Capital of Texas Triathlon. After looking at what is in store for me on the Cap, well this is a rookie by all means. It is a 300 meter swim (that is 6 lengths of an Olympic size pool), 11 mile bike and 2 mile run.

On top of that, I have my first official member of the pit crew signed up for the Capital of Texas Triathlon. My friend DC will be flying in as part of my pit crew and there to take the picture as I cross the finish line. We are both clearly not morning people so I still am interested to see how it pans out with my body markings starting at 5 am. Ha.

So - can you help me out? Can you help Team in Training? Can you help the Leukemia & Lympoma Society with $5 and 5 friends?

Karma

That is all I can say. I mean what else would one expect when you pick on your family about how cold it was in Nebraska yesterday and it was in the 90's here. So what happens today? Well - we have our group cycle meeting at the Veloway at 8 am.

I could hear the wind blowing before I got out of bed. I knew it was suppose to be colder. So I layered. However, no layers could prepare me for 45 minutes of that wind. It wasn't that it was super cold once you got moving. It was 48 degrees. BUT, and I mean a big BUT, the wind was blowing at 28 miles an hour with gusts up to 35. Seriously, there were times that you would come around the curve and it was like hitting a wall. It SUCKED.

I was slow - as normal and just made 3 trips around the park in my 45 minutes. I believe they say it is about a 3 mile track. But - in that wind - it might as been double the time. The good thing about it is that it was early, so I have already got the workout in, ran the errands, and took a nap. Now going to work on the house before I have to head to Lowe's. Got to love a lazy Saturday!

It's a beautiful day...

...for a jog.

So my Wednesday workout was a 35 minute jog. It was a beautiful day out. My car said 82 on the drive home - so probably pretty close to that. I got home early and much to Guinness delight - she got to go with me. Of course, 82 seems great when you are not doing anything, however, at the end of 35 minutes Guinness and I were feeling the effects. I can only imagine what it will be like this summer if we are already seeing 80s in February.

The jog ended with us at the dog park so Guinness was good and tired by the time she got home. That translates to me getting to sleep through the night!!! Worse than a kid, I tell you!

Swim Practice

All I can say about this is that I finally have experienced the Nazi coach that I was with the girls. Now - I mean Nazi in the nicest way possible. A coach very passionate about what they are teaching, pushing their students to be all they can and not allowing them to quit.

So with that intro - let me tell you about 6 am swim practice on Monday, yes I said MONDAY, mornings. You know me - so NOT a morning person. Heck - most know to not approach until at least one can of Diet Coke has been pumped into the veins! So - to do this and of all days a Monday morning when no one wants to get up anyway - is just insane.

Of course - that probably leads me to attest to why I didn't make the first two practices. No excuses made - I just was flat out lazy. Sorry softball girls! But, I figured this Monday I could do it! I mean - it was a Company Holiday and heck I could always go home and nap if it was bad.

So - I got up. But darn it - I wasn't feeling well again. More on that later. But I head out anyway. Of course - they try and sell this practice with it is an outdoor pool heated to 80 degrees. I so wanted to turn around, but kept trying the motto in my head - it is just an hour, not months of chemo.

I went and it sucked. Every second of it. The pool is 50 meters. Now - if I do the sprint version it is 200 meters swim in open waters. Double that for the Olympic version which they SWEAR we will be ready for. If I can't swim 100 meters in a pool - how am I going to finish 200 meters in open waters, or 400 for that matter. Of course - once I learned I was breathing wrong and I was actually causing myself to hyperventilate - well it got a little easier. But - damn I am out of shape.

Of course, the coach that was helping the "slow" swimmers was super nice, encouraging and hard as hell. But don't get me wrong - he also made it very clear I hadn't experienced exhausted yet. Ha!

I'll have to get a picture one of these mornings - very sexy in my goggles & swim cap I tell you! Stay tuned because I am sure this is the only beginning of the tales!