30 Days of Blogging - Day 1

Day 1- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself.

This is a picture from a company gathering in early November.  I absolutely hate it from the standpoint that I made me realize how round my face has become and how out of shape I have allowed myself to become.

1. I was born in Monroe, Nebraska and the first place I visited after leaving the hospital was a bar.

2. I love to play softball (obvious) but I love the peace that comes with going on a walk/run with the pups.
3. I am secretly addicted Young & the Restless.
4. Hearing of family gatherings back home makes me home sick and want to move back home.
5. I have a horrible fear that I will never know personally the joys of parenthood.
6. I fear that my Mr. Right will never find me.
7. I have been told by the younger guys at my part-time job that I am a MILF without the kids. Not sure if that is good or bad.
8. I project a bitch mode when I am stressed. When I have a lot to do, just tell me what you want from me with as little words as possible.
9. I miss my grandparents very, very much. I miss hearing my grandma's laughter and my grandpa's stubborn ways.
10. I cannot tell you how Santa Claus managed to deliver our presents on Christmas Eve to my grandparents farm. He even came when I was almost 30 and my brother's and I have never resolved the mystery.
11. I hate people that complain that they don't have money but then find money for booze, fake nails and all the other superficial stuff.
12. I learned that when things get so unbearable and life throws me huge curves, I have some AMAZING friends that would drop everything and fly to be at my side in a second.
13. I have learned that I am a survivor. Sometimes when I get down, I turn back in a victim role but in the end - I am survivor and they will not get the best of me.
14. I'm in the process of purging my life of Clutter. Trying to get rid of everything that I don't need and use.  It is hard to let go!
15. When I am bored, I eat. Hence why I am back doing Weight Watchers. Mindless snacking. I don't need to be hungry and then wonder why I feel so miserable afterwards.

Whiney

Yes, the phrase "Do you want some cheese to go with that whine?", that phrase belongs to me! I am now on day 14 of this crap that has invaded my body and refuses to leave. I have no idea what I have, my doctors have no idea what I have, nothing over the counter works, and it doesn't feel as if the antibotics and prescription cough medicine are helping.

It started on Thanksgiving day with the family here. I just felt crummy. Nothing really notable, just crummy and a little runny nose. I had a low grade fever - 99 - which normally I am 97.7. But that was it. It it just keeps continuing. The runny nose, the cough, the body aches, the sheer exhaustion - 14 days - I have had ENOUGH already! The doctor asked if I felt any better or if it was getting worse. I just said it doesn't feel like it is getting any worse but it doesn't feel like it is getting any better.

Of course, the icing on the cake was last night when I was talking to my mom on the phone. Love her to death but I could tell she wasn't hearing what I was saying and wasn't answering my question. So, I said something to her and she was just like - I can't really understand you with your voice like it is, it is really hard to hear and understand you. Haha. It is a summary of my 14 days.

I really hope that whatever I have runs its course and gets out of town. I am over it. It is the holiday season and I can't even say that I have put up my Christmas decorations. I think I might just have to force myself to do it tonight. :(

Can't and The Misfits

As a softball coach, Can't was just a word I hated. To me, the girls had already mentally given up on something. I never was blessed with the best athletes out there. But I was blessed with great girls that had potential, were willing to work to get better, worked great as a team and had some of the best parents out there. The best team I ever had was the years of The Misfits. In a normal year, our club ball selections were done in August of the prior year. I thought the team was set and then do to a million reasons, I was suddenly left with 4 or 5 girls and not enough players for a team. It was winter in Nebraska, so having another tryout just wasn't going to be on the table. One family refused to see the situation for what it was and informed me there will be a team. And a team we had, the team of Misfits. It was a merger of two teams that didn't have enough players, it was players that were looking for a team, it was players that just didn't know they wanted to play that much. The Misfits worked hard and came together as a group. They might not have all been friends in a normal day to day basis but at the end of the day, they were teammates on the field. The team that was least expected to do well finished tied for 15th place in the Class B National Tournament that year all because Can't wasn't an option.

I know and accept I probably wasn't the easiest coach to have. I was hard on the girls and pushed each one to their break point. We had the girly girls, the tomboys, the athletes, the social players, we had them all. But at the end of day, they were all treated to the same and held to the same expectations. Softball was just a game and the practices and games that came with it were the lessons of life. You can't be late every day to your job and not expect consequences, softball was no different. Can't was not going to be an option in their life.

To a certain extent, I have kept in touch with a lot of players that I have coached in life. I have seen them graduate high school, graduate college, get married, have babies of their own, etc, almost as a proud parent. However, I really never knew the impact I had in their life until that silly number game on Facebook. The number game was easy, you sent the person a number and then that person updated their status on what their thoughts of that person were.

I sent Hollywood a message just for fun to see what she had to say. I call her Hollywood because she was my girly girl on the softball field. I think she is the only player I have had that had a serious gift for making a black eye disappear with a touch of makeup. She made the choice not play softball in High School but stuck with club team. To the outside world, she was such a girly girl but to our team, she was the competitor, she hated losing and did everything in her will power to try and play softball at Nationals when she was really sick. She has a great family and is a beautiful person in and out. The following is what she had to say....

#13 I CANNOT EXPRESS IN WORDS HOW MUCH YOU HAVE INFLUENCED ME THROUGH MY LIFE. THERE ARE TIMES STILL TO THIS DAY THAT I CAN HEAR YOUR VOICE IN THE BACK OF MY HEAD. TELLING ME TO ELIMINATE 'CAN'T' FROM MY VOCABULARY AND THAT MY MENTAL STRENGTH CAN GET ME THROUGH PHYSICAL PAIN. I STILL REMEMBER YOU YELLING THAT YOUR GRANDMOTHER CAN RUN FASTER! :D #13 continued YOU PUSHED ME TO BECOME A BETTER ATHLETE BUT IT CHANGED MY LIFE IN SO MANY AMAZING WAYS. I WISH THAT I WOULD HAVE KNOWN WHAT I KNOW NOW THEN ABOUT HOW MUCH BETTER OF A PERSON I WOULD BE IN THE FUTURE BECAUSE OF YOUR LEADERSHIP. I COULD GO ON AND ON AND ON BECAUSE I AM SO GRATEFUL....I'M SORRY, BUT I AM REVEALING YOU xxx. THANK YOU!

Honestly I had never expected the answer in a million years nor would ever feel that I had to be the first person to admit that I forgot my own speeches and have not been listening to my own advice. Can't...how many times have I used that world in my life in Texas, too many to even admit.

Can't is a word that can hinder a weight loss plan. It is an easy word to just to get out of workouts - I can't today - just don't have time. I have definitely allowed it to hinder mine. Can't is a word so easy to use, so easy to define your mental attitude towards something and so easy to be the excuse out. Yesterday's post was an eye opener for me. It helped me realize how much I was depending on that word. While I recognize that today hasn't the best start to my eating, I can change the way I finish my day with food and exercise. I can walk, I can make healthy food choices and I can kick Can't to the curb!

In the spirit of Hollywood, goodbye Can't, hello Can!! Are you willing to celebrate Can?

Rant like no other!

OMG - I am so mad right now, I am spewing fire. Allow me to provide some background. My mom works in a small shop in which there are just two woman that work in there. My mom choose to do WW meetings because she wants the personal interaction with a leader and wants to hear for other people. She needs to the human interaction factor. Now her coworker, she chooses to do things online, has never been to a WW meeting nor has she ever had a leader see her in person. She has lost a HUGE amount of weight on the plan and looks terrible. I have seen pictures and she has lost too much weight. She thinks 100 lbs of weight is healthy on a person her height. Now, that said, I have been a follower of her blog on WW and this morning - I am spitting fire, what she has to say is below and it is taking every ounce of me NOT to comment on her blog because everyone is bashing my mom for what she has to say.

Yesterday at work I was having a pleasant conversation with my co-worker (female) about the new program. She chose to loose 10% of her wgt. and get her "Lifetime" several months ago.

She asked what I am doing online. And as I was trying to cheerfully explain how wonderful this community is, and all the friends I have made. I was cut off by,"I prefer to go to a meeting & interact with REAL people" Ouch..

All week I have been thrown comments like, "You are not eating enough"....29 pts a day after living on 18...no way I am not eating enough. Plus she has no idea what I eat.

"You are too skinny" OK everyone has an opinion. But I have my Dr.s OK to go for the 100 lb. star.

"How's your insomnia?"....I wouldn't call it insomnia, I get 8 hrs of sleep a night. But I choose to go to bed early & get up early. Why is that wrong? There is no one here to talk to, I am not big on TV. I make my dinner - clean up, do a couple of routine chores. Come here to read how everyone is doing and to learn more on the site. Then I go to bed, maybe read a book. Yes, it is about 7:30 pm, I fall asleep about 8:00 pm.
Wake up a little before 4:00 am get ready and go to work. I have my coffee & eat my breakfast at work, alone - just like I would be at home. The heat is shut off at night, the building takes time to warm up. I clock in at 6:00 am, before that I check in here, or sometimes work on my own sewing project.

Therefore, "I am not normal"

I am not a fighter, it's just not worth it to me. After so many zings this week, I just need to whine.....

I like to interact with people & friends as much as the next guy. I'll be the 1st to admit I am lonely. But my friends have their families & meals to get in the evening hours. Because my DH is at work I end up odd man out.

I was even told once that she had the REAL type 2 diabetes & I did not. Excuse me? I admit she has more trouble with stabilizing her sugars than I do. But why is mine not real?

Thank you for listening, I am done. It's a new morning - I'm done working for the week. So I will re- focus on the more pleasant things in my life.

Like WI tomorrow, hoping.

My kids will be here in 7 days! I am in "crazy mode" to get all the things done - that I think are important. Poor DH will have to live with a mad woman all weekend as I cook & clean.

Still soda free!
Have a great Friday!
Later.

I'm back in College

So, on Wednesday last week, I finally went out with Bargain Betty. Unfortunately I learned over the weekend that even though he is 39, he acts like he is still in college. Apparently after meeting, he feels that it is necessary to call me at 2:30 am on Friday night. For good measure, even though we didn't talk at all on Saturday, at 2:36 am, he called again. WTF dude. I think that DC will want to rename him to Horney Bargain Betty.

Of course, I was completely irritated because he KNOWS that I work at Lowe's on the weekends and he KNOWS that I open. So, I find it completely rude that he calls at 2:30 in the morning. Of course, in true guy fashion, he could not figure out for the life of it why I was upset. I mean really? Finally, I just told him it was an issue of RESPECT. You don't call, text or do any of that nonsense for someone that you are interested in dating. Maybe I'm back at the drawing board.

Then there was Friday night. Friday night I went out with a new guy. Yes, I robbed the craddle. I met up with a 31 year old. I had a really nice time. We just hung out and talked. All I know is that time flew and next thing I knew it was 1:30. We didn't meet until after I got off at Lowe's so it wasn't something that started at 5. But, a nice time was had and hopefully I will see him again. Of course, I will have to wait until DC to name him. :)

Dear God

Shoot me now.

I am sitting in a Access 2007 Intermediate class today. I honestly think that I have slept through half the class. I feel like crap so it really doesn't help the boredom factor.

So in the first four hours of the class, we covered how to create a database and add tables to it. Honestly, WTF? I mean if that is the first four hours of Intermediate, what do they cover in the beginner class?

Since lunch, we have learned about relationships and joining tables. Oh wait, at 3 pm I finally learned something new. Dear God, shoot me now.

It only took 6 months

Yep, that is how long it took to meet one of the guys. You can see references to him here: Is the glass really half full?: A whole lot of.... or here Is the glass really half full?: Date like a man.... Needless to say, we haven't gotten very far as meeting. That being said, I still talk to him almost daily. Every morning he calls on his way into work, before 7 am. Yes, me the non-morning person, actually talks to someone on the phone before I have a Diet Coke in me. That there should say enough.

For the sake of simple, we met up at Chili's. Let's just say that I will refer to him as Bargain Betty. (DC hasn't had an input on this but she will probably agree, if now we rename.) In any event, apparently Chili's has a "Happy Hour" until 6. Since I wasn't going to get there before six, he went ahead and ordered two of the appetizers because they were almost half off and it would be scandalous to pay full price. I might have my work cut out for me.

Overall, I had a nice time. He was what his pictures showed; he wasn’t another 100 pounds more than the pictures he shared and was really nice. I can see a date two in the picture, so we will see.

Other than that, not a lot else to report. Currently in countdown mode until the football party arrives. In exactly one week – I will be on a 8 day vacation! Whoop!