30 Days of Blogging - Day 8

Day 8 - Short term goals for this month and why

Well, if I do short term goals for December, it has to be the shortest term EVER.  So with that said - I think that I will go with my short term goals for the rest of December & January.  Now with that said, these are my goals for that period.  They are meant to help me tackle my New Year's Resolutions for 2011.  Yes, I have even put thought into those already.

So, for the rest of December & January - the focus is on me.  Making myself the top priority.  Now how am I going to do that? First and foremost is exercise!  Now that I am finally feeling better, I have started the Couch to 5k program again.  One week down and ready to look at Week 2 tomorrow.  In addition, I am also working through the 200 Situps and 100 Pushups apps.  Both begin Week 2 tomorrow.  I am putting my best steps forward to a slimmer, trimmer me.  Plus, on the days that I am not running and don't have to work at Lowe's, the dogs are going to be blessed with at least a two mile walk.  :)  So, I will be making sure I am logging at least 30 minutes of running/walking five days a week.  Eating has been healthier these days and that is a goal for January too - smart choices! 

The final plan which is probably going to be the biggest challenge for me is sticking to my budget.  Funny how that goes.  In any event, in my master plan, if I stick to it and end up with my best case scenario....I could have half of my debt paid of in 2011, including my car!

30 Days of Blogging - Day 7

Day 7 - A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you.

I think that it is safe to say that my mom has had the biggest impact on me.  Both of my parents have but some days those long distance calls are easier with my mom.  If you have every talked to my dad on the phone, you'll understand.

Of the years of my life, there are probably only a couple I wish I could have back.  Obviously my teenage years were one.  It wasn't until I was the high school/teenage coach and being the mediator for the girls did I understand what I put my mom through.  Then there were the few years I was blinded by a certain boy.  In the end, it didn't hurt my mom and I's relationship but there were those years that I missed talking to her, gaining advise and wisdom from her that I can't get back.  Of course, in the end when I was seeing clearly, I learned that she had my best interest at heart and my family just could see what was best for me and unfortunately I did not.

She is my BFF.  I talk to her every day on my way home from work, without fail.  Some days it is just a two minute call to say hi, other days it is a 30 or 45 minute call.  We can talk about everything from how the day is going to some of my biggest problems.  Whenever we have the chance to see each other in person, it feels like a blessing since 800 miles separate us today.  Of course, the goodbye and going home is always the hardiest on us and definitely results in tears being shed, however, as Grandma Schmidt would say, it isn't goodbye, it is see you soon!  Love you Mom!

30 Days of Blogging - Day 6

Day 6 - Your favorite Superhero and why.

Hmmm, this is a tough one.  I don't see myself as having a favorite superhero. However, that being said, it is pretty clear from family photos past, that Wonder Woman was my hero of choice.  Why, I don't know.  Maybe it was the strength and poise she portrayed on tv during a time when woman were just starting to emerge as leaders.  Who knows.

But, I do say that I would like to go back to a time when I was as active as I was in this picture.  I was always running, playing and enjoying life.  You can tell it in my size.  I would love to go back to that shape.  No, I don't want to weigh what I did in that picture, but I would love to have the shape and curves I do here.

30 Days of Blogging - Day 5

Day 5 - A picture of somewhere you've been.

This was a no brainer for me.  The picture to the right is from Jamica.  It was taken from the cruise the family took early in the year.  We spent the day on a private beach where you could read, play sand volleyball, drink, swim, snorkel, everything! 

It was the peace of the beach that I loved the best.  You could sit there and read a book, doing nothing and it was okay!  The water was just this amazing blue that the picture doesn't even do justice for. 

If I could just be lazy for a week and go anywhere, I would go to a beautiful beach such as this and just sit there and read my book and enjoy the beauty God has give us!

30 Days of Blogging - Day 4

Day 4 - A habit that you wish you didn't have.
 
Wow.  Which habit do I have that isn't bad?  But then again, if it is so bad, why do I still do it, why don't I change it?  What part of change is so scary that one allows themself to continue with a bad habit?  Why can I admit that it is a bad habit, but then do nothing to change it?  Maybe it is the procrastination habit that leads them all.  But at the end of the day, it is my weight that bothers me most and sinks my spirit the most, so lets go with that. 
 
I am an emotional eater.  No doubt about it.  It is my comfort when I am lonely.  It is my thing when I am bored.  It is my fix for my sad days.  It is there to celebrate.  Honestly, it is just always there and I don't want to blame my family, but I think a lot starts there.  I come from that large extended family that does not know how to gather without food and none of it is healthy.  Family gatherings are all day grazing events.  So, now that I admit that is bad habit number one, I need to work on changing that and finding other ways to recognize periods in my life.

30 Days of Blogging - Day 3

Day 3 -A picture of you and your friends.

As I am sure that all of you won't mind of posting some old photos with new photos. 

This first picture is from my crazy days of the 20s and 30s.  This picture was take seven years ago and is on the beaches of Hawaii.  Yes, five single girls took on Hawaii.  It wasn't my "skinniest" time, but I was in pretty good shape and had the confidence to wear a two piece back then!  If I could only get back to that weight! 

Now, for some of my now friends.  I say they are now friends because realize it or not, they have been there for me through some of the most difficult days of my life and are still here today!

The first is DC.  She and I met a zillion years ago on a weight loss board.  Honestly have no idea what the name of the group is.  We have only been able to hang a few times in person with her being in DC, but we talk almost daily!  We have definitely had some crazy, crazy conversations over the years and have battled this weight together.  Up for Twinkie's anyone?  (Only DC will understand that one!

The last picture I want to share is with Runner.  Ironically we met on the Weight Watcher's board.  She was on the Austin group with me and by the time we decided to meet it, we found out that our offices were right by each other!  The bad news, it was my last week at that job.  But, Runner was my first friend in Austin and she amazes me!  She wa a rock for me during some of my lowest points here in Austin and let me just be me when I needed it the most!  I love her for that!  When I was training to do the Cap Tex Triathlon, she was a faithful riding partner!  It was during those rides, I talked her into doing a Triathlon and this picture was from her first one, the Couple's Tri!  Today, she runs circles around me, training and doing so many Triathlons it makes my head spin.  I idol her abilities and she plain ROCKS!  Once I can kick this part-time job to the curb, I hope that I can join her in a few more Tri's!  I love that we can have a great time together and the best part of the friendship is that we can get in a sold 15 mile bike ride and catch up!

I have had so many friends that have been my rock when I needed it, dating all the way back to High School.  Sadly - I don't have any pictures of them, funny how I avoid the camera but don't mind taking pictures of others!  They know who they are and I appreciate all the love and support they have given me over the years!

30 Days of Blogging - Day 2

Day 2 - The meaning behind your blog name.

Is the glass really half full?
 
You know, I am not really sure how I came up with that name.  A lot has to do with my mentality.  I have been through some serious bumps in life.  Most would just curl up in a corner and be done, but I have pushed through them.  I like to believe that on most days, my glass is half full, or at least time for a beer run.  :)  
 
That said, there are those days that my glass is half empty or it feels like it.  I have my home sick days.  I have those days that I just really feel down.  I do have those days where I want to give up and just curl up in that corner.  But, I don't.  Or if I do, I don't allow the pitty party to continue on that long.  At the end of the day, no one wants to hear a constant sob story. 
 
So - the glass is really half full for me, or is it?

30 Days of Blogging - Day 1

Day 1- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself.

This is a picture from a company gathering in early November.  I absolutely hate it from the standpoint that I made me realize how round my face has become and how out of shape I have allowed myself to become.

1. I was born in Monroe, Nebraska and the first place I visited after leaving the hospital was a bar.

2. I love to play softball (obvious) but I love the peace that comes with going on a walk/run with the pups.
3. I am secretly addicted Young & the Restless.
4. Hearing of family gatherings back home makes me home sick and want to move back home.
5. I have a horrible fear that I will never know personally the joys of parenthood.
6. I fear that my Mr. Right will never find me.
7. I have been told by the younger guys at my part-time job that I am a MILF without the kids. Not sure if that is good or bad.
8. I project a bitch mode when I am stressed. When I have a lot to do, just tell me what you want from me with as little words as possible.
9. I miss my grandparents very, very much. I miss hearing my grandma's laughter and my grandpa's stubborn ways.
10. I cannot tell you how Santa Claus managed to deliver our presents on Christmas Eve to my grandparents farm. He even came when I was almost 30 and my brother's and I have never resolved the mystery.
11. I hate people that complain that they don't have money but then find money for booze, fake nails and all the other superficial stuff.
12. I learned that when things get so unbearable and life throws me huge curves, I have some AMAZING friends that would drop everything and fly to be at my side in a second.
13. I have learned that I am a survivor. Sometimes when I get down, I turn back in a victim role but in the end - I am survivor and they will not get the best of me.
14. I'm in the process of purging my life of Clutter. Trying to get rid of everything that I don't need and use.  It is hard to let go!
15. When I am bored, I eat. Hence why I am back doing Weight Watchers. Mindless snacking. I don't need to be hungry and then wonder why I feel so miserable afterwards.

Whiney

Yes, the phrase "Do you want some cheese to go with that whine?", that phrase belongs to me! I am now on day 14 of this crap that has invaded my body and refuses to leave. I have no idea what I have, my doctors have no idea what I have, nothing over the counter works, and it doesn't feel as if the antibotics and prescription cough medicine are helping.

It started on Thanksgiving day with the family here. I just felt crummy. Nothing really notable, just crummy and a little runny nose. I had a low grade fever - 99 - which normally I am 97.7. But that was it. It it just keeps continuing. The runny nose, the cough, the body aches, the sheer exhaustion - 14 days - I have had ENOUGH already! The doctor asked if I felt any better or if it was getting worse. I just said it doesn't feel like it is getting any worse but it doesn't feel like it is getting any better.

Of course, the icing on the cake was last night when I was talking to my mom on the phone. Love her to death but I could tell she wasn't hearing what I was saying and wasn't answering my question. So, I said something to her and she was just like - I can't really understand you with your voice like it is, it is really hard to hear and understand you. Haha. It is a summary of my 14 days.

I really hope that whatever I have runs its course and gets out of town. I am over it. It is the holiday season and I can't even say that I have put up my Christmas decorations. I think I might just have to force myself to do it tonight. :(

Can't and The Misfits

As a softball coach, Can't was just a word I hated. To me, the girls had already mentally given up on something. I never was blessed with the best athletes out there. But I was blessed with great girls that had potential, were willing to work to get better, worked great as a team and had some of the best parents out there. The best team I ever had was the years of The Misfits. In a normal year, our club ball selections were done in August of the prior year. I thought the team was set and then do to a million reasons, I was suddenly left with 4 or 5 girls and not enough players for a team. It was winter in Nebraska, so having another tryout just wasn't going to be on the table. One family refused to see the situation for what it was and informed me there will be a team. And a team we had, the team of Misfits. It was a merger of two teams that didn't have enough players, it was players that were looking for a team, it was players that just didn't know they wanted to play that much. The Misfits worked hard and came together as a group. They might not have all been friends in a normal day to day basis but at the end of the day, they were teammates on the field. The team that was least expected to do well finished tied for 15th place in the Class B National Tournament that year all because Can't wasn't an option.

I know and accept I probably wasn't the easiest coach to have. I was hard on the girls and pushed each one to their break point. We had the girly girls, the tomboys, the athletes, the social players, we had them all. But at the end of day, they were all treated to the same and held to the same expectations. Softball was just a game and the practices and games that came with it were the lessons of life. You can't be late every day to your job and not expect consequences, softball was no different. Can't was not going to be an option in their life.

To a certain extent, I have kept in touch with a lot of players that I have coached in life. I have seen them graduate high school, graduate college, get married, have babies of their own, etc, almost as a proud parent. However, I really never knew the impact I had in their life until that silly number game on Facebook. The number game was easy, you sent the person a number and then that person updated their status on what their thoughts of that person were.

I sent Hollywood a message just for fun to see what she had to say. I call her Hollywood because she was my girly girl on the softball field. I think she is the only player I have had that had a serious gift for making a black eye disappear with a touch of makeup. She made the choice not play softball in High School but stuck with club team. To the outside world, she was such a girly girl but to our team, she was the competitor, she hated losing and did everything in her will power to try and play softball at Nationals when she was really sick. She has a great family and is a beautiful person in and out. The following is what she had to say....

#13 I CANNOT EXPRESS IN WORDS HOW MUCH YOU HAVE INFLUENCED ME THROUGH MY LIFE. THERE ARE TIMES STILL TO THIS DAY THAT I CAN HEAR YOUR VOICE IN THE BACK OF MY HEAD. TELLING ME TO ELIMINATE 'CAN'T' FROM MY VOCABULARY AND THAT MY MENTAL STRENGTH CAN GET ME THROUGH PHYSICAL PAIN. I STILL REMEMBER YOU YELLING THAT YOUR GRANDMOTHER CAN RUN FASTER! :D #13 continued YOU PUSHED ME TO BECOME A BETTER ATHLETE BUT IT CHANGED MY LIFE IN SO MANY AMAZING WAYS. I WISH THAT I WOULD HAVE KNOWN WHAT I KNOW NOW THEN ABOUT HOW MUCH BETTER OF A PERSON I WOULD BE IN THE FUTURE BECAUSE OF YOUR LEADERSHIP. I COULD GO ON AND ON AND ON BECAUSE I AM SO GRATEFUL....I'M SORRY, BUT I AM REVEALING YOU xxx. THANK YOU!

Honestly I had never expected the answer in a million years nor would ever feel that I had to be the first person to admit that I forgot my own speeches and have not been listening to my own advice. Can't...how many times have I used that world in my life in Texas, too many to even admit.

Can't is a word that can hinder a weight loss plan. It is an easy word to just to get out of workouts - I can't today - just don't have time. I have definitely allowed it to hinder mine. Can't is a word so easy to use, so easy to define your mental attitude towards something and so easy to be the excuse out. Yesterday's post was an eye opener for me. It helped me realize how much I was depending on that word. While I recognize that today hasn't the best start to my eating, I can change the way I finish my day with food and exercise. I can walk, I can make healthy food choices and I can kick Can't to the curb!

In the spirit of Hollywood, goodbye Can't, hello Can!! Are you willing to celebrate Can?

Rant like no other!

OMG - I am so mad right now, I am spewing fire. Allow me to provide some background. My mom works in a small shop in which there are just two woman that work in there. My mom choose to do WW meetings because she wants the personal interaction with a leader and wants to hear for other people. She needs to the human interaction factor. Now her coworker, she chooses to do things online, has never been to a WW meeting nor has she ever had a leader see her in person. She has lost a HUGE amount of weight on the plan and looks terrible. I have seen pictures and she has lost too much weight. She thinks 100 lbs of weight is healthy on a person her height. Now, that said, I have been a follower of her blog on WW and this morning - I am spitting fire, what she has to say is below and it is taking every ounce of me NOT to comment on her blog because everyone is bashing my mom for what she has to say.

Yesterday at work I was having a pleasant conversation with my co-worker (female) about the new program. She chose to loose 10% of her wgt. and get her "Lifetime" several months ago.

She asked what I am doing online. And as I was trying to cheerfully explain how wonderful this community is, and all the friends I have made. I was cut off by,"I prefer to go to a meeting & interact with REAL people" Ouch..

All week I have been thrown comments like, "You are not eating enough"....29 pts a day after living on 18...no way I am not eating enough. Plus she has no idea what I eat.

"You are too skinny" OK everyone has an opinion. But I have my Dr.s OK to go for the 100 lb. star.

"How's your insomnia?"....I wouldn't call it insomnia, I get 8 hrs of sleep a night. But I choose to go to bed early & get up early. Why is that wrong? There is no one here to talk to, I am not big on TV. I make my dinner - clean up, do a couple of routine chores. Come here to read how everyone is doing and to learn more on the site. Then I go to bed, maybe read a book. Yes, it is about 7:30 pm, I fall asleep about 8:00 pm.
Wake up a little before 4:00 am get ready and go to work. I have my coffee & eat my breakfast at work, alone - just like I would be at home. The heat is shut off at night, the building takes time to warm up. I clock in at 6:00 am, before that I check in here, or sometimes work on my own sewing project.

Therefore, "I am not normal"

I am not a fighter, it's just not worth it to me. After so many zings this week, I just need to whine.....

I like to interact with people & friends as much as the next guy. I'll be the 1st to admit I am lonely. But my friends have their families & meals to get in the evening hours. Because my DH is at work I end up odd man out.

I was even told once that she had the REAL type 2 diabetes & I did not. Excuse me? I admit she has more trouble with stabilizing her sugars than I do. But why is mine not real?

Thank you for listening, I am done. It's a new morning - I'm done working for the week. So I will re- focus on the more pleasant things in my life.

Like WI tomorrow, hoping.

My kids will be here in 7 days! I am in "crazy mode" to get all the things done - that I think are important. Poor DH will have to live with a mad woman all weekend as I cook & clean.

Still soda free!
Have a great Friday!
Later.